Would Everyone Stop S#!t-Talking Larabars Already?!

How I wish that I could have some prepackaged real food right about now.

Although I'd like to admit otherwise, I have not been enjoying packing lunches lately. Everyday seems to be some alternating version of ham, salami or AB and J with some chopped up veggies and whole fruit, perhaps the occasional pickle. Thing 1 does not have access to a microwave to heat up dinner leftovers, but even if he did he wouldn't necessarily eat them. School lunch is included in the cost of his tuition and he would rather eat the junkier nutrition-light fare that the school serves. Since we end up wasting alot, I wish (at the very least) that lunch was easier to prepare. I wish there were more ready to eat, individually sized foods that met my high standards.

One such product that I continually buy is Larabars. Larabars are ground date, dried fruit and nut combinations that are easy to carry for snacks, always get eaten and can be thrown into a lunch box at 9:30 PM with virtually no thought. Larabars are a product I trust. They use only Non-GMO ingredients, contain no sweeteners at all and they always get eaten no matter what the school is serving.

There are many foodies and bloggers who LOVE Larabars because they are all real food and they taste great. But I continue to read those that just s%!t-talk Larabars. The main complaints ate that the bars are prohibitively expensive and too calorie dense.

Yes, Larabars are pricey when you consider what they are. At $1.69 or more per 200 calorie bar, it can really add up, especially when you have more than one child. We do not eat Larabars every day. They are a special treat. So I will buy 4 or 5 a week and we will all have one or two. The Things will even accept Larabars as dessert which is proof that they really do see them as a treat.

I have made Almond Date Truffles, as I like to call them, before. My version is heavier on nuts than Larabars but essentially they are the same thing. My almond-date balls took almost an hour to make and roll and, because I used organic everything, cost probably as much or more than an equal amount of Larabars. Normally I would assume that any homemade version of a prepackaged item would cost more, because we would use better quality ingredients. But I don't worry about the quality of the nuts and fruits in Larabars and we do not eat 100% organic. I have made the truffles a couple of times, but I didn't feel that the extra money and all the extra work involved were justified when Larabars are so easy and right there.

And of course, people downplay Larabars because they are calorie dense, i.e.- fattening. Now that really is some s#!t talk! Yet I can't really deny it. For their size, Larabars have alot of calories. However this is where we have to use our brains. Just because something is real food doesn't mean that you can pig out on it and eat 12 with no consequences! Yes, dates (the main ingredient in all Larabars) are extremely high in sugar. However dates are also a source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin B6 and they contain countless other vitamins and minerals in smaller quantities. Dates are also an excellent source of dietary fiber. (Check out the nutrition data for dates.) Usually I break a bar in half and split it between the kids. They are so sweet that they never ask for more. And because they are made from real food, there are no manipulating added favors or sugars to make them feel addicted.

Because they are pricey and high in calories, Larabars are not an every day snack for me or my children. BUT, I am not so sure there is any one food that we eat every single day. We strive for varied balanced diets. And Larabars certainly fit into that balance. I am happy that they do not contain wheat, since my kids seem to be bombarded with wheat wherever we turn. If you haven't tried Larabars for either of these reasons, consider cutting them in half. Try them for that 4 PM slump. Stick them into your kids lunchbox to know that they'll be full until school let's out. And definitely try the chocolate ones, because what other chocolate-y bar on the market can boast all the antioxidant benefits of unsweetened cocoa with truly zero added sugar? And to the Larabar company, if you like what you read, would you mind sending me a free box? Please??? Haha, just kidding!

Enjoy!!

Why I Will Not Buy a Keurig Machine

I promise never to write a post urging you to give up your morning coffee. I don't much care about calcium or Vitamin C depletion, adrenal stress or whatever else is said about the effects of coffee. We all have limits and that's mine. And no, decaf doesn't cut it. I have no intention of giving up coffee-EVER. For sure, too much coffee makes me jittery and way too much coffee makes me paranoid. But one to two cups (read 8-16 ounces) is fine for my system to handle. The gurgling of my coffee pot at 5 am when the rest of the lights are off in my house, it is as comforting a sound as 'I love you'.

Recently though it seems that everyone I know has been throwing away their traditional coffee pots for the new-fangled brew-one-cup-at-a-time Keurig machines. My office invested in it. All of my family has switched. I heard of so many folks at work who have them at home and they all love them. Then this past weekend my husband turned to me and said he just HAD to have one. Last straw, people.

If you don't know about Keurig, they produce coffee machines that brew coffee one cup at a time. Their sell-in is no carafe, no parts to clean and each cup is perfectly fresh brewed. But I can't do it. I won't buy one. Besides being expensive, there is nothing actually wrong with my current machine. And replacing a perfectly good machine with another more expensive one that doesn't produce anything different doesn't make sense to me.

When I asked DH why he wanted to get the machine he said it was because we waste too much coffee. I do make too much. I throw away 2-3 cups of coffee most days. I make it because some days we DO drink it all. And I am a girl of routine, I make the same amount everyday, weekday or not. But the waste argument got me. Coffee grinds are one of the most biodegradable things out there. They'll mush up into soil in a few weeks. And you can even include them in your compost. But Keurig coffee comes in these little K-Cups or plastic capsules containing coffee grinds. The machine punches holes in the top and bottom of the K-Cup and your coffee is brewed right in there before passing through a filter and into your cup. So now instead of flimsy paper filters and compostable coffee grinds going in the garbage every morning, we have more bits of plastic that will be with us in 1000 years. Awesome. Which machine is more wasteful? Why are we worried about wasting coffee that you just pour down the drain when the Keurig creates plastic garbage that won't break down?

I told my DH that under no circumstances would we buy a Keurig machine. I told him I would make less coffee every morning if he had an issue with our coffee waste.

But also I have other issues eith the machine. I can't find the country of origin on the K-Cups. I don't know the quality of the coffee. I can't grind my own beans. I don't know how fresh the coffee is. And although they offer organic, can I guarantee that it is fair trade? And lastly, when I brew coffee with near boiling water inside a small plastic cup designed for disposibility (and cheapness), well I would imagine that some of that plastic ends up my cup of coffee. Does Keurig use BPA or other dangerous chemicals in the plastic of their K-Cups? Do you know? Yummy goodness.

Late adapters unite!! What was really wrong with our old coffee pots? Don't waste your money. Keep your old machine.

**FYI, Thank you toall the great commentors. YES-Keurig does make a refillable K-Cup. And all K-Cups have been BPA free since mid 2010. However....that doesn't really solve problem that Keurig machines are expensive and my current machine ain't broken. Thanks everyone for contributing! Keep the comments coming!

Are We All Too Busy To Eat Healthy?

Every couple of months I write some cry your eyes out post about how I am so busy. And I get some awesome responses from you guys in support, telling me to hang in there. I thank each and every one of you who has commented or even just read such a post. But as I continue to hit patches of busy-ness, writing more whining and complaining posts doesn't make for good compelling reading. Or even a cathartic writing experience.

I have yet again hit another such patch. While I have been quite busy at the office (which is a good thing), it is our current school situation that is the biggest culprit. My children and I now spend just shy of 12 hours of every week day outside of our home. And of my just over 12 hours spent in the home, 6-7 are spent sleeping, 2-3 are spent caring for the kids or preparing food and 1-2 are spent in other chore related ways, like emptying the dishwasher or making lunches. That leaves little time for the things that I love, like writing. No wonder I never talk on the phone.

So I have now carved out a love-hate relationship with food preparation. When I started this blog I was inspired by all that I read. I tried new things, even on a weeknight! But today making homemade food sometimes feels like a ball and chain. But what choice do I have? Muster up the energy to cook something simple like sausages and boiled veggies, or order food that will make us all feel sick. Last week I was exhausted fighting some cold and I couldn't even think of stepping foot into the kitchen. So we picked up some pizza. What a mistake. I spent the whole night queasy and I couldn't sleep. Some convenience. Yes, the kids ate with no drama-rama, but I have to imagine that their bellies were tender that night too.

I love the idea of a local, organic and non-processed diet. But I will not sit here and tell you that it is a sustainable lifestyle for most people. The vast majority of people lack the skills to make a non-processed lifestyle work with all the commitments they have in life. And my 'experiment' to prove that any family can eat all homemade foods has lead me to dozens of amazing and inspirational blogs kept by full time bloggers, stay at home mothers and home schoolers. That's awesome, but not all the tips really work for me. I am not home to try all these cool recipes out.

So after 18 months of blogging, I have come to one succinct conclusion. We are all just too damn BUSY! The modern American lifestyle is overstuffed with way too many activities and we have made room for them by cutting out things we really need to do like sleeping and preparing healthy food. And we continue to convince ourselves that we need junky convenience foods and faster smartphones in order to do more work and brain cell sucking activities like searching the Internet. But wait, are we convincing ourselves? Or is it the companies that are selling us the phones, computers and junk food?

Today, The average American workday is 7.5 hours. That makes sense, 8 hour day, 30 minutes for lunch give or take a few. That number has remained fairly constant over the years. In this link, you can see that weekly hours worked has remained the same since the mid sixties at about 40-41 hours total per week. That is actually slightly less than in the forties when the average weekly hours worked was slightly over 43 hours. But no huge difference over the years. Then tack on the average commute, which is today just shy of an hour per day, or over 100 hours each year. I guess I can keep on complaining because my work day is 9 hours each day and I can boast a whopping 2+ hours of commuting time each day.

The change in sleep over the last 100 years is much more dramatic. The average amount of daily sleep has gone from 9 hours in 1900 to 7 hours in the 1970's to just over 6 hours today. I myself admit to getting only 6 hours of sleep regularly. I shoot for 7 hours but don't really feel good unless I get a full 8 hours. The fact that kids are getting less sleep saddens me. Reports show that School aged kids today average only 9.5 hours of sleep each day when they should be getting more. That is less than kids were getting 30 years ago. Sleep is important for everything from physical repair to hormone regulation to supporting memory. I know all this, but so many nights I stay up writing this blog instead of turning off the electric lights and the ever portable iPad.

But naturally it is the time spent in front of TVs, computers and Internet capable phones that is so troubling. According to this study and the article published in Businessweek, kids are now using more than 8 hours of media per day. That includes cell phone and iPod usage, texting, Internet, gaming and TV watching. I don't even want to know how many hours I spend using media. It is virtually all day at work. And then between various personal Apple devices, I overdo it a little. The problem I find with this trend is not so much that we are watching so much TV or reading online, it is that we are not setting down the devices to prepare healthy foods. It is that we cannot turn off the computer to go to sleep. We seem so afraid that we will miss something. Surely this cannot be good for us. And our health is surely suffering from the lack of rest and the abundant 'convenient' food.

I don't mean to say that we should just utilize our time better. That's a cop-out like saying we need to eat less and exercise more to combat obesity. The biggest problem in being too busy today is that in order to stay socially connected in today's world we HAVE to be computer literate and text and stay up on Facebook. There aren't quills for letter writing, parlor visits or calling cards anymore. Companies are pushing you to not even get mail anymore by sending you your bill via email. We cannot live without technology. It is not going away. I don't think we will get any less busy than we are right now. I suppose it could get worse. It could turn into The Matrix.

I bounce between wondering if blogs like mine make a difference to anyone who eats the Standard American Diet and not having any effect whatsoever. Or does my writing into the ether just solidify a group of people who have all independently come to the same conclusion, that we are too busy and we need to make lifestyle changes in order to maintain our health? Are we visionaries? Are we cutting edge? Have we discovered the missing link that could save us from more health problems? Or are we the fringe? Are we the crazies? Are we the Miss Haveshams' still clutching our old failed dreams even as the world passes us by?

Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we could all learn to live in balance. Do you think anyone will ever get that to catch on?

This post is shared with Simple Lives Thursdays

How Do You Talk To Your Kids About Food Without Making Them Crazy?

I appreciate all of my readers comments. That isn't just lip service. A 'way to go' does alot to brighten my day. And I rarely counter a negative comment because if someone is motivated to tell me off then they probably had a pretty good reason. As a blogger (and intelligent human being), it is my responsibility to be open to listen. We can all grow and learn from constructive criticism.

Last week I posted about a conversation I had had with Thing 1 on junk food. The conversation was precious because he freely shared information with me, which I always love. And because he was in such a sharing mood, I asked a few questions that I thought were harmless. And Thing 1 answered them happily. I received several interesting comments which gave me some perspective on our family's struggle with the omnipresent junk food monster. And then, I received this comment:

"Honestly, anything that is preceded: "Because it's OK if you did...you can tell me" is a TRAP! This is true in marriage, parenting, etc- not that it isn't OK for them to tell you, but obviously there will be consequences if the asker does not receive the answer they want.

I mean, he's what- three? Four? How many times a day, for how many days of his life, are you going to make what he eats an issue? If it were me, I would learn to lie just to avoid another barrage of questions. He may end up feeling paranoid with how insistent you are to know what he's putting in his mouth 24-7- and hey, it's your prerogative as a parent.

But since you're asking for feedback, I will tell you that I think you are setting your kid up to hide candy bar wrappers in old shoe boxes in his closet because he doesn't want to disappoint you.

Lay off a little bit...You can be an advocate for your children to eat healthy food, but sometimes when you try too hard to push them into a mold (even for good, solid reasons- like health) you end up getting the opposite reaction because, well, you'll end up coming off as obnoxious. I don't think I'd want to be asked about ANYTHING when I come home from a long day as much you've asked him about his food in the above conversation. By saying "It's OK if you did" and then asking 20 follow-up questions about what he ate suggests to him that his initial answer wasn't satisfactory to you and he's obviously trying to avoid the subject by "looking off into space"- this is learned behavior that is supposed to signal, "Jeez lady, drop the darn food thing already..." "

Well then. Okay. I kept the comment in my inbox for several days. I reread it a few times to soak in the author's intentions and perspective. I think there are some valid points to be had here. First and foremost, trusting your child and involving him in family decisions is paramount to building a strong relationship with him. Also, pushing a child into a tight mold doesn't always work and can strain one's relationship with their child and possibly even eventually alienate him from you in adulthood. Wasn't that the overarching message of Tiger Mom?

But one other point in this comment leaves me frustrated. The very idea that eliminating or at all limiting junk food from my child's diet would drive a wedge between my child and I is completely preposterous. I write this blog to share my experiences with other parents who have similar beliefs and share information that supports my beliefs. And what I have found is that there are many many other parents searching for the same thing, a safe food environment for their kids. Our food Nirvana is one without food coloring, chemical preservatives and excessive sugar. I want to give my kids good food, and in writing this blog I have connected with other parents who want to do the same. Isn't that what a blog IS? In spite of the shortness of the junk food conversation with Thing 1, if my strong relationship with my child hasn't come through in the post then I have to assume that my writing was sub-par. I admit this particular article was hastily written. I take full responsibility.

But the commenter brings up a good point on which I have been meaning to touch. Does talking to your kids about healthy food versus unhealthy food create anxiety in your child? Will this dialogue lead to eating disorders like hoarding, binging and even anorexia?

Dietitians and nutritionists LOVE to tell us not to label foods healthy or unhealthy for fear that the general public will not be able to cope with our guilt when we do indulge. Pediatric nutritionists also sound the warning call about creating anorexia and bulimia in our children. But at their core, eating disorders are anxiety disorders. In certain cases, I can imagine the extremely high standards of perfectionist parents can create anxiety in a child. I have seen it happen and I imagine you have also. Especially when there is more than one area of a child's life where perfection is expected like food, academics and sports. All the stress to perform can manifest in a food related anxiety disorder like anorexia. But often the food itself is just the tool of the anxiety. In the fascinating book Drinking A Love Story, Caroline Knapp writes of only sober period as the year when she traded alcoholism for anorexia. For a time starving herself was her way of coping. Once she started abusing alcohol as a coping mechanism again, the anorexia was no longer needed and disappeared. The topic of anorexia is complex, it goes way beyond a fear of food and often incorporates fear, anxiety and control issues. Anorexia often surfaces in a young person who feels powerless. One's diet is something over which one can execute considerable control.

Telling your four year old that potato chips are junk will not create anorexia in you child. Such a statement would be a trite insult to those suffering with such a debilitating disorder. Furthermore, placing limits on junk food will also not cause binging and hoarding. And if you explain yourself, as parents should in order to teach their children, your children can begin to understand WHY you might choose to limit junk food.

Of course intention is key, telling your child that junk food is unhealthy for them is a very different message than junk food makes you fat and it is bad to be fat. It is also different than constantly berating them or cruelly reminding them that junk food is unhealthy. Be sure, my conversations with my kids are occasional and center around feeling strong, growing tall, managing their hunger and having energy. I don't tell my kids that it is bad to be fat, every child carries weight differently as they move in and out of growth spurts. And weight or appearance is something over which a child has very little control. Inferring that a child would be unlovable if they were overweight might indeed create anxiety in said child. I would love my kids desperately no matter what they looked like.

In fact I believe that if you are eating real food, your body will do what it needs to do to and be what it needs to be. Eating real food and not processed garbage has gone a long way toward helping me to accept my own body. Eating real food has also helped me not fall to pieces when I indulge in cake or potato chips. Truly, a piece of cake can be part of a nourishing and healthy diet, but in order to say that first you have to have a truly nourishing and healthy diet. I don't advocate perfection. And anyone reading this blog for any length of time has seen me post about my family's lack of perfection.

In light of that comment I wrote The Grinch That Stole Halloween and tried to clearly articulate all of the above. I wanted to communicate that the holiday was fun, that we were excited to participate and even have some candy! But that I had issues with the focus of the holiday being JUST candy and gluttony. That is like Christmas just being about the presents, and most people seem to agree that there is more to Christmas than presents. Remember too that Halloween was a precursor to All Saints Day where we remember the saints who have all passed on. It is a time of year to honor the dead. Born out of an older pagan ritual, people would dress up in costumes the night before so that the awoken spirits would not recognize them. And so that they could do mean things to others with impunity. The candy thing is a modern alteration.

Then I got this comment...

"Between your interrogation of your four about what he eats everyday, and this trick or treating thing...I have to conclude that I am extremely happy you aren't my mom! Aren't there better, greater things to worry about than if your kid eats a few Butterfingers one day a year? Your house sounds like no fun."

Okay. The first comment I took to heart. I thought it was important that I truly examine my interactions with my children when it comes to food. Also I would hate to alienate a regular reader, I value you guys. But after the second comment...well...I had to ask myself does this person even regularly read my blog? This is a non-processed food blog. It is a blog about feeding one's kids REAL food, not convenience foods. It is a blog about challenging the accepted notion that we should gorge on sugar and fat whenever we get the chance. Has this person read any of the other stuff I have written against sugar? See here and here and here--those links are ALL different.

Seriously, if you can't imagine giving up candy, I have to question what you are eating. Candy tastes terrible. My homemade pizza, creamy sausage pasta, marinated steak, buttery mashed potatoes, crispy pork tacos in homemade tortillas and homemade maple granola all taste better than the crappy Kraft caramel I had this week that had a grainy texture and flat flavor.

What about Allergenic kids? Do they grow up angry with their parents because they cannot eat peanuts, gluten or whatever they are allergic to? What about children brought up as Kosher? Do they feel like their parents have deprived them of pork and shellfish? What about them? Is there a greater risk of binging and hoarding among those kids? No. Because they are given a logical reason why they cannot eat those foods. My kids can choose as adults if they want to follow this way of life or not. It will be there choice at that point.

All I am saying is that I am giving my kids real reasons why we eat this way. We embrace fat because we understand that it is important in appetite control, proper cell function and even brain function. We eat pastured animals because they are healthier, resulting in meat that is higher in Omega-3's which are heart healthy, as opposed to CAFO meat which are higher in Omega-6's. We avoid sugar because it is implicated in cancer and heart disease, obesity and Diabetes, degenerative diseases. Hell, sugar is even implicated in Restless Leg Syndrome.

My kids NEED to know about food. It is not some little part of our lives. So they get fewer lollipops growing up than I did. Why is that important? Our children's generation is the first in the history of our nation to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents. I damn well better be doing SOMETHING to help my children have a healthy life with food and without sugar, or else I can't say I have done all I can as a parent. This isn't about weight or looks, it is about health.

And lastly, comments like this do alot to intimidate us as healthy parents into not speaking our minds about the way that we raise our kids. And I for one will NOT be intimidated into raising a child that eats the Standard American Diet. If you don't like what I am feeding my kids, you can go read someone else's blog.

This post is shared with Fight Back Fridays and Fat Tuesday and Simple Lives Thursdays

The Grinch That Stole Halloween

It should not be shocking that I dislike Halloween. Okay, it is not so much Halloween that I dislike, it is the candy, because the costumes and the fall theme are pretty fun! So I, um...kinda...um, never told my kids about trick or treating. Plus I have never taken them. They know about it now. But they didn't hear it from me. And while they have costumes, I don't plan on taking them trick or treating again this year. And furthermore, I don't feel the slightest guilty about it. Let me try to explain why.

Remember back when you were a kid? Halloween was an exciting time when you got to choose your costume, my mom (and later I) made my costume and then you got to show it off while getting candy from the neighbors? I remember the houses that gave out Snickers, Bottle Caps and caramels (good candy) and the houses that gave out peanut squares, Charleston Chews and bubble gum (lousy candy). And most of all I remember the houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy as opposed to one or two pieces. Those houses rocked. After the evening's haul had been acquired, we would go back home and sort through everything (make sure there were no acid squares or anything that could have had a razor blade in it), eat our most favorite pieces and pass out from all the excitement

Every year I could pour my modest haul between my two legs and count the pieces. My candy was all eaten up in a couple of weeks. I never remember having any leftover at Thanksgiving. Also, I don't think my mother ever took candy away from me in the hopes that I would eat less of it. My mother never worried about that.

Today, things seem so different. First off, I have bought every Halloween costume that my kids have ever had. I never even tried making something. But this year Thing 1 wanted to dress up as Super Why, the leader of the Super Readers on the eponymous show. I was pretty sure that no one makes a Super Why costume. So we went out and bought green tee-shirts, felt, glitter paint and fabric glue and now we have...ta-da!

I am so proud of this! Even though now I know that I spent more on supplies than the costume would have cost, it doesn't matter. Thing 1 loves this. Thing 2 has no idea what is going on, but he loves it too. I do think that part of the fun of Halloween this year has been the homemade costume. I would like to think that I will do this every year until they get old enough to get bored of it. Again, I promise to be inconsistent at best.

But also, I feel like Halloween has turned into a no-rules opportunity for kids to gorge on candy. Perhaps too great a societal focus on healthy eating has created a super demand for unhealthy foods? Even though we don't actually eat all that healthfully as a society, because we know it and obsess over it we create great guilt over our eating habits. Then Halloween rolls around and kids stuff their faces with candy like they will never have it again. This is classic deprivation behavior. What is so crazy is that most people and kids are not junk food or candy deprived. I wish I had more time to study eating behavior and culture.

Remember what I said about those houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy? Well now it seems like everyone is doing it. Our wonderful daycare took Thing 2 trick or treating last Friday around at some local businesses. He came home with easily 2 pounds of candy. He is 2!!! Now I don't fault the daycare. I truly love them. They didn't let him EAT the candy and trick or treating was a very fun activity for the kids. I am glad that Thing 2 went and had such a great time. But can you imagine seeing a dressed up 2 year old and giving him a massive handful of candy? I mean, they don't even care about the candy. The fun for them is the interaction. This is what he came home with.

The quantity is disturbing to me. What ever happened to giving out one or two pieces to each kid? Why am I looked upon as such a stingy Grinch for not letting my kids gorge on candy? Am I depriving them of a rite of passage? Or am I depriving them of a stomach ache? Though perhaps I am not the only adult with a bit of good sense. If you look closely in the pile, you will see two or three small toys and two toothbrushes. Nice.

For the record, I do let my kids have candy. And not just on Halloween. They eat some candy probably every week, though that is usually because DH has something in his pocket when he gets home from work. That is fine, but I don't see the sense in going overboard. I don't restrict my kids food intake. If you are hungry and want thirds, go for it. We eat fat. We eat lots of fat, butter on toast, full fat dairy products, nuts and even coconut oil on our oatmeal! But I do restrict junk food, candy particularly. Does that make me a Grinch? I think it makes me sensible. And it is sad to me to think that such behavior is 'old-fashioned'.

Furthermore, why should I take my kids trick or treating on Halloween? They both went trick or treating at their schools, they'll get treats and parties on top of that, we plan on going to a Halloween party where there will definitely be treats, and every family member and friend that stops by comes with something sweet for the kids. The world has given my kids enough candy. Why the hell do I need to drag them from apartment to apartment in my building and ask for even more handouts from semi-strangers. Isn't the fun of Halloween in dressing up, seeing friends and having a party on a week night? The candy seems like such a sad supporting act.

And lastly, I admit. I am that mom. I will totally throw out all remaining candy that has not been consumed within a week or two. I have done it every year without fail. The kids have never noticed or cared. What a waste. Next time, just give my kid one piece. Any more is like throwing money in the garbage.

Bah Humbug.

A TRUE Junk Food Conversation With Thing 1

The hours between drop off and pick up are a bit of a mysteryto me. Thing 1 doesn't always tell me what he does, what he is learning about or who his friends are. I hear from the teachers of course, but Thing 1 doesn't let me in on everything. Then randomly he will dump alot of information out at once. Over dinner last week, Thing 1 had the following to say to me:

Me: {Thing 1}, what did you have for lunch today?

T1: Nothing.

Me: You didn't have very much of the lunch that I packed. Did you eat the school lunch?

T1: No I didn't.

Me: You know it's okay. You can tell me if you eat the school's food. It's okay.

T1: No I didn't. Maybe a little. They had chips.

Me: Okay. You had chips for lunch? You weren't hungry for anything else? You ate a big breakfast. Were you not hungry today? Do you usually get hungry before lunch?

T1: (Looking off in space, not really paying attention) Yes! Very Very Hungry!!

Me: {Thing 1} Do you have a morning snack at school? (BTW-I know they do).

T1: Yes, we do.

Me: What did you have for your snack today?

T1: Your apple.

Me: That's good. What do the other kids bring for snack? (sorry--I couldn't resist)

T1: (Without hesitation) They bring junk food.

Me: They do? {Thing 1} what do they bring?

T1: Like...fruit snacks and......marshmallows. Hahahahaha! That was {So an So..}

Me: {Thing 1}, do you like your apple?

T1: Yes.

What do you think of this interaction? Questions? Concerns?

The Lush, The Prude and The Kids

When I first heard the song 'Last Friday Night' by Katie Perry I was a little confused, overwhelmed, disgusted and angry. Perry's homage to binge drinking is troubling because her demographic is heavy with those who cannot legally drink (or legally drive, or legally be unattended in public places). Perhaps the song is more unnerving because it is so damned catchy. I found myself shocked that such a song would be on the radio for impressionable ears all while I was turning up the volume. The song is infuriatingly singable.

I have fond New York City memories of staying out all night and going to work with a manageable hangover. My first year out of college was a progression to adulthood. My first stop was the Tom Collins. Next was the Vodka Tonic until I was grown up enough to handle a proper Martini. I took my Martinis dirty until I now I look forward to little more than a glass of straight vodka. Winston Churchill once said that the proper way to craft a martini was to fill a glass with vodka and set the open bottle of vermouth next to it. Then recap the vermouth and enjoy your drink. Hawkeye Pierce from M.A.S.H. famously ordered his martinis so dry that he could 'shake the dust off of them'.

There is something heady about the twilight descending while standing on a tile floor in heels. The chatter of an excited crowd swirling around you all while you smell and taste your first sip of wine of the evening. That first sip is always the best one. But I rather think I have earned my memories. I learned to drink responsibly over the course of many years. My parents drank at home. They enjoyed themselves without going overboard. My college years were not filled with keg parties and trays of shots. I had a handful of overly anxious rebellious drinking bouts at 18 or 19, but they were few and far between.

Today I drink alot less than I used to, and martinis are mostly just a fond memory. But I still worry that my kids will grow up to develop troubling drinking behaviors. In fact I worry that drinking has replaced smoking as the 'cool habit' in ad campaigns and movies. Drinking can develop into an unhealthful and life strangling habit. And songs like Perry's 'Last Friday Night' or that Pink song with the ever-classy name 'You and Your Hand' only romance binge drinking and partying to a very young and impressionable fan base.

Jeez, really? When did I get so uncool? When I was 17 I was able to read Tom Robbins and Charles Buckowski without becoming a sexed up heroin addict. Why do I assume that today's kids don't share my same surprised reaction to the Perry song? I guess I don't find the song so offensive, twenty-somethings will have to learn to navigate this drinking culture. And a little wildness can be good to an otherwise serious youth (like I was). It is that I worry for the 16, 14, 12 and 8 year olds whose exposure to pop music is informing them on what the adult experience really is.

With that being said I can't say that I have been a great musical role model. Last week as I pushed both my kids down the street in their stroller, Thing 1 belts out "I am going, I am gooooooo-ing, Where streams of whiskey are flowing!" I remind you, he is 4. The Pogues may be revered as a traditional Irish band, but they are most certainly of the modern day and their songs of debauchery include the story of a young man who drinks until he chokes only to die the following morning and a man who tosses his cookies in the church collection plate. Do their bagpipes and international status allow them carte blanche to sing blithely about binge drinking? And since we are a family of some Irish decent should I find it less troubling to share this music with my children than that of some make-up faced pop tart? Sure the Pogues' music does not contain that seductive ingredient of sex, but their raw lyrics still make light of alcoholism.

So, if I write a food blog, why on earth bring this topic up? At the risk of painting myself as Tipper Gore, My children are getting bigger and they are more impressionable. I am conscious of what kind of world view I am presenting them. I don't want to be hypocritical, but I fear that this is impossible. There are so many slip ups a parent can make.

Also, I am examining my own complicated relationship with the bottle. I love drinking. Like really love drinking. It is not something I want to give up. But as I am getting older I am finding that my body is not tolerating alcohol like it once did. Drinking less produces a more negative side effect than it once did. I bring the topic up because while I have examined most of what I eat, I have not made similar decisions about what I drink. Perhaps it is time for me to become educated about what happens to one's body after a drink or two. Perhaps then I can educate my kids so that their choices are influenced by fact and not by the lyrics of a Katie Perry song.

This post is shared with Real Food Wednesdays and Healthy 2day Wednesdays, Simple Lives Thursdays and Fresh Bites Friday

How Do You Handle Treats For Your Kids?

I love a good sandwich for lunch. I especially love a sandwich with potato chips. Before I cleaned up my pantry I bought a 10 ounce bag of kettle chips about every other week. Today that seems excessive. I only buy them for special occassions now, a car trip or special picnic, a party, you know, something that feels out of the ordinary. After the inital shock to DH's system we no longer miss them. They are an awesome indulgence on occasion. Kettle Chips or Dirty Chips are the preffered brands because they fry in safflower, peanut or sunflower oil. These oils are not generally from genetically modified plants. Avoiding GMO's is our reason to avoid most fried foods. Most standard brands fry in soybean oil. Over 90% of the soybeans grown in the US are genetically modified.

The last time I bought potato chips I saw some troubling behavior from the Things. For lunch I gave them a meat, a cheese, a vegetable and some chips. It was an okay amount for a toddler, 4-5 chips. They ate the chips and clamoured for more!!

The conventional wisdom surrounding feeding young children is that they should be offered a variety of foods from a variety of food groups. When offered real foods they will choose among them and eat what they need. It is also believed that treats can be offered every now and again. Life should be enjoyed and banning foods can leading to hoarding behaviors. Furthermore many nutritionists suggest allowing a child to have as much as he or she wants of the food that is offered. If sweets and treats are offered less often, say 2-3 times per week, even a double serving of cake shouldn't be enough to wreck a good diet. I do all of these things. We limit sweets, I offer different simple meals with a variety of components, and we encourage the kids to eat until they want to stop, but that doesn't mean that the 'Feeding Sun' is always shining in our house.

There is nothing wrong with eating potato chips every now and then. I would go as far as to say that eating them even once a week will probably not make any noticible difference in your health or waistline. When I eat chips I like them along with other foods as part of a larger healthier meal. When my kids eat chips they sometimes go overboard. Or like the day in question, they refuse other food.

Upon the tantrums, that day, I told them that the chips were a treat and that they were part of a larger meal that they now needed to eat. I said that they could have more chips after they finished more of their meal. Thing 1 complied and earned more chips. Thing 2 did not and melted into a puddle on the floor.

Kids don't come with a developed standard operating system. They don't know that chips ought to be limited while salad should not. Heck some adults don't get that either. I have come to realize that treats of both the salty and sweet variety are probably best left to the end of a meal. Children younger than 5 don't always have the wherewithal to eat certain foods in moderation. You probably can't trust your toddler to eat a reasonable portion of anything that is super special and amazingly delicious like potato chips. If you don't want your kids eating too much, it is best just to not serve that treat. Or at least to do so less often and after a meal where you feel good about EVERY item that is served.

But that doesn't address the issue of portion control. I do not agree that we should offer foods and then just allow kids to just eat to their heart's content whenever given the opportunity. Sorry, I just don't buy it. This country has a massive cultural portion control problem. Suggesting that super young kids be allowed to make the call on how many pieces of cake they should eat is ludicrous. Yes, we do want them to each as much good healthy foods as they need while going through a growth spurt. And no, we do not want to encourage hoarding behaviors. BUT, I don't see anything wrong with telling your three year old 'You already had your piece of cake, if you are still hungry here are some carrots.' Your child might throw a fit. If you find the fit so unnerving or unacceptable then don't serve the cake. Or, you can choose this to be a teaching moment and allow him both the cake and the fit. Most kids will 'get it' after a while, cake is a special cherished item not a free-for-all.

I have grown to despise the term 'everything in moderation' because there are clearly foods that should not be eaten in moderation, like vegetables and fresh water. Vegetables are always a 'green light' food in my mind. Go to town. Stuff your face. Every diet I know of is in need of greens. No need to moderate there. Then again, animal protein is also a food that you need for health. (Sorry vegetarians and vegans, I really am....I am willing to listen if you are willing to school me!) But one does not need too much animal protein and again, going overboard doesn't support good health. And then there is junk food. A little won't hurt you, but you don't need it and too much can be detrimental. So this BS idea of everything in moderation doesn't really make much sense. Vegetables should not be eaten in moderation, they should be embraced. Cake and cookies should be eaten in moderation, it is okay to limit them.

Our kids NEED us to teach them which are green light foods, yellow light foods and red light foods. They need us to present a family culture in which everyone only eats one piece of cake. It will not warp your kid to tell them, 'you have had enough candy'. There are many cultures that do well in teaching their young 'how to eat', ours ain't one of 'em. As children get older they begin to adopt the behaviors that they have been repeatedly shown. Don't you want them to feel confident in heathy choices with few mixed messages? Of course there will be times when they go overboard and have too much sweet or rich food. At that point, their bodies negative reaction will only reinforce the lessons of moderation that you the parent will have already put in place.

How do you handle treats with your children?

This post is shared with Fight Back Fridays, Real Food Wednesdays and Healthy 2day Wednesdays

Have You Heard About Denmark's New Fat Tax?

Thank you to Fooducate which is where I first heard about this story. It was originally reported by the BBC over the weekend. Apparently, the country of Denmark has passed the world's first 'Fat Tax'. Starting soon all foods with a saturated fat content of greater than 2.3% will carry a tax of aproximately 8 cents per ounce.

Oh, this is wrong on so many levels. I was rather angry when I first heard about the tax because it doesn't make alot of sense to me. The tax is only on products containing SATURATED fat. The types of products to be taxed will be items like butter, coconut oil, lard, some meats, cheese and full fat milk and the products that contain them like ice cream and pizza. It means that candy, chips or french fries fried in soybean oil, cakes and cookies made with canola oil or deconstructed fat free milk products will remain untaxed.

The items to be taxed are largely unprocessed items that my healthy weight family eats every week. Meanwhile the products that we avoid to maintain our health, like chips and cookies will remain untaxed!! While I am sure that some processed products will be taxed, it will be quite easy for food companies to reformulate those products and circumvent the tax. Manufacturers of butter would be unable to reformulate, of course. The tax means that a pound of butter will cost about $1.28 more! Raising the price of unprocessed food seems counterintuitive. Don't we want people to start making their own food rather than letting some unknown company do the cooking for us? Food is expensive enough already, levying a tax on so many unprepared foods makes little sense to me.

Perhaps it surprises you that I am against this tax? Actually I am all for taxing unhealthy foods. I fully support the once proposed NYC soda tax. I supported the once proposed ban of sugary beverages from being part of the SNAP benefit plan. I just disagree with the item being taxed here. If you want to address obesity, tax sugar. Our bodies need fat, even saturated fat. But our bodies don't need sugar at all!! Obesity is undoubtedly a complex problem. It is not one that a single bad ingredient or food caused. The causes of obesity are cultural as well as food related. But it makes no sense to me to blame the foods that we have been eating throughout history.

I don't anticipate additional countries following suit. I will be curious if the law even lives. Sometimes bad international press can turn the tide against such laws. This could be a difficult additional expense for the average Danish family. Suddenly your meat, milk, butter and cheese have an added tax. It could end up being $5-10 a week on otherwise unprocessed healthy foods. Over the course of a year that could mean an extra $250-$500!!!

It is clear to me that many people in positions of authority do not understand nutrition. Many folks do not understand the partnership between healthy fats and satiety. Meanwhile, how many hundreds of calories could you ingest of saturated-fat-free potato chips before you burst? I think the Danes got it all wrong. If the government should have any say over our diets, it ought to be them standing strong against sugar and banning non-food chemicals from the food supply. This tax is completely off base.

Do you agree with government taxes on food items? Why or why not?

This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays and Fight Back Fridays

Real Food, The Working Mother and The Mid Life Crisis

Welcome to my mid-life crisis! I am glad that you decided to join me, if at least for just a moment. Don’t be afraid, these things aren’t contagious. So let's get cozy.

Actually I am uncomfortable in labeling this as a mid life crisis because that means I would die by 64. And that seems too young. And a quarter life crisis also seems too weird because that means I would live to be 128. And that is way way way too long. I think I would like to go between 80 and 90, preferably quietly and on my own terms. But now I am way off topic.

I have had a mid/ quarter-life crisis before. The year before I met DH I had just graduated from college with a degree that wasn’t going to get me really anywhere. I was working as a retail store manager and I imagined trying on every hat to figure out the direction of my life. I had been exposed to very little and didn’t know what the inside of an office looked like at all, much less what someone in ‘marketing’ or ‘finance’ really did. Every hat felt awkward or required more schooling and with every path eliminated I felt more discouraged. I felt sure that this weird period of my life was a one time deal. Once I got on the right road I have been on a straight and path since then, work, get married, buy a place to live, move beyond an entry level position, have kids, continue to grow a career. The path has been deliberate and thoughtful, yet not so creative or even all that distinctive.

But there are things about having children that change everything. I read an article recently that showed that women tend to peak in their careers just before they have children. The article may have been specific to finances. Perhaps certain mothers' gains are offset by others who drop out of the job market completely. Perhaps others seek out other employment that allows them a better quality of life with fewer hours and a lower salary. I don’t think the study went into any great depth. Either way, having kids makes working more complicated. Be it time off for school in-service days, stomach bugs or just the old, ‘I gotta run before my daycare turns my kids over to ACS’, there are countless things about being a parent that make one less desirable as an employee. So if one wants to shine, one often has to work harder to get more accomplished in less time, be crafty with one’s schedule, and all around be more organized to get everything done.

Lately I have been feeling like a doll whose two arms are made out of one long piece of rope or yarn. You pull on the doll’s left arm and the right arm goes short. If you pull on the right arm, the left arm goes short. These days everytime I reach to put out some new fire I end up dropping some other ball that I was juggling. Surely the transition to school has been the culprit. It has only added to our routine and made things harder for everyone. I know the kids are getting less sleep than before. For someone like me, type A ever-so-slightly-lazy-overachiever all the extra drama has been unnerving. Cooking real food after so much work and commuting with toddlers is almost too much. If my kids would eat any of the local take out, I’d probably call in at least once a week. Since they don’t like Indian Korma, leftovers and hotdogs (the farmer’s market ones) have become an easy weeknight dinner. Blogging has become tough. And my recent slow traffic has me reminded that I only will get out of this what I put into it. In fact, as I am stretched so thin, I am coming to that conclusion about virtually everything.

Upon examining my life, I want to do so much more. I see my career and I want to be better, smarter and more capable. I see my kids and I want to be more involved in their daily lives, keep up with their latest assignments and get to know other parents in the school. I see this blog and I want to drive traffic to the site, participate in every blog hop that will have me and possibly turn it into a book to help other working moms. But thus far I seem squished by the enormity of it all. And all I can see through my glasses are the ‘Meet the Teacher’ events that I have missed, the late running trains, the overly emotional drop offs and the projects that I wish I was suggesting to my boss rather than the other way around. Why is it that trying to push oneself to get more done often has the opposite effect? Why does it seem sometimes that my kids make me a worse employee and my job makes me a worse parent? Six weeks ago I felt like I was balancing both fairly well and managing to continue my hobby, this blog, in my spare time. Today all I see is my shortcomings.

That would be enough to meditate on, until it hit me. The future of my career, this blog and my being a parent relies solely on me. I must have the vision to create this next step of my life. I always had a vision of what my twenties and early thirties would look like. And I have a good idea of what I want my fifties and sixties to look like. But these meaty years of raising kids and getting them to turn into functioning adults, my thirties and forties, I really don’t know what I think they ought to look like. And after waking up at 5am to run and pack bags, my brain isn’t operating in visionary territory. It is barely in functioning territory.

We are limited by the hours in the day and the simple laws of physics. No matter how rich or well connected you are, you only get 24 hours in each day and you can only be in one place at a time. Perhaps someone might tell me to get organized, do some tasks the night before or wake up 15 minutes earlier. But since making our huge tranisition I have had over an hour's worth of chores to do each night, packing lunches, dishes, laundry or making kefir. I have always believed that drive, hard work and sheer sweat would be enough to carry me through even the most trying times. Today I am saddened because I think I finally hit the outer limits of my capabilities. I am now evaluating what I have to give up rather than how to work smarter. I am finally living the stereotype of the stressed out working mother.

My conclusion? We are too busy. Most of us are. Our culture expects us to be on the go. And many of us have to be super busy in order to pay rent or mortgages. So where do we cut corners? We don't clean house every night (or even on the weekends sometimes), we skip errands, and we phone in dinner. It is so easy for a blogger, food author, editorialist or politican to slam the average citizen for not eating better. 'People need to be more responsibile and cook more! They should show some initiative and take care of their families!!', they cry as though the problem is as simple as laziness. I am far from lazy, yet I have recently found myself going to bed without dinner because I am too tired to cook anything. Is this really what we expect of the average citizen?

This should be the part of the post where I suggest that everyone take on less and get back to the land or nature. But I am obligated to the modern world. I gotta make this work. Five acres in the country and homeschooling just isn't in the plan for me. Do I ever make it sound easy? I hope I never do. And if you are trying to do the same in balancing work, kids and real food, well, kudos to you. I truly believe that it is worth the extra effort.

This post is shared with Fight Back Fridays

Our First Week of School & School Food

Last week began a new adventure for all of us. After four years with a full time babysitter, Thing 1 started full time big boy Catholic School and Thing 2 started full time daycare. The reasons for the change were largely financial. Thing 1 needs to now be in a full day school, which can be pricey. And Thing 2 needs to start some kind of school environment to learn basic socialization and even 10 hours of preschool, as many of you well know, can cost you $15-20 per hour. Add on a full time nanny and you have a recipe for bankruptcy. So we decided that instead of the shorter programs that we'd go full on into full day programs and let our longtime well loved babysitter go. It has been a difficult and emotional change for everyone. But even after three days I think we all agree that we made the right decision.

Thing 1 started in school last Wednesday. We like his teacher. He comes home every day saying that he has made new friends, but he doesn't know the children's names. Thing 1 is slow to warm up. The very first day when the teacher called them to come to circle time all the children made a circle and Thing 1 sat on the outside. That's him. Even at 10 months old he was moving in the opposite direction of the crowd. He just takes his time to get into the middle of things. But he tells us that he likes his school and for that I am grateful.

Thing 2 has been less happy about the turn of events. This poor second child has always gotten hand-me-down everything, including hand-me-down attention from parents and caregivers. So just when he stood to have lavishly long days of one on one solo care we decide to stick him in a chaotic school environment with a dozen other children and half as many caregivers. Let's just say he wasn't thrilled. Day one was a true nightmare where he cried all day, did not nap and did not eat. I blame myself (as per usual) for not preparing him more. I am not sure I even told him about his new daytime routine until the day before, and even that was spotty communication. I spent the entire summer preparing Thing 1 for his new school. I trust that in a couple weeks he will fall into line. Even on day two he ate and took a nap with the other children-a HUGE improvement from our puffy red-eyed first day!

School food was something I also hemmed and hawed about. Both the daycare and the school told me that both breakfast and lunch was included in the tuition costs. Great...except that I know a little too much about school food. It was hard enough to have a daily babysitter plying my kid with treats. At least, of all the junky snacks I know my kids were getting, our baby sitter cooked meals from scratch for the kids and even brought home-prepared food in to share with them. School food is an altogether different thing! All summer I weighed our options, do we opt in? Or do I pack a lunch for them?

A week or so before school started I noted in the parent's handbook that the school lunch program followed the Catholic Diocese's Nutrition Program, whatever that means. I figured it was basic My Pyramid, (sorry.....) My Plate, kind of stuff. But I was stressed about all my new food responsibilities, so I was willing to let him eat at school. Several schools have good food programs!

So two weeks ago I called the school and asked, what was the menu like? Could parents access upcoming items? I was told that children needed a note from their child's pediatrician in order to opt out of the program. And that the note needed to cite allergies or some other medical reason. In response to my questions about the menu I received a voicemail from the principal saying that the offering was pretty standard, "It includes a protein and vegetable and a starch and typical meals are like pizza, chicken nuggets or cheeseburgers." That was pretty much all I needed to hear to know that I was opting out.

For Thing 2 I took a different approach. He doesn't eat. And now he isn't even eating hot dogs (bun only now-a-days) So I am down to fresh fruits, milk and juice, anything in the wheat family and turkey sausage. Oh and if he could he would eat as many French fries, potato chips or other junky foods that he could get his hands on. I am pretty sure I have a future food hoarder on my hands. I decided that given his pickiness that he could benefit from a room full of kids all eating the same thing. It might to help him to branch out. And it isn't like I know what he wants to eat anyway. Much of my packed lunches would likely go to waste anyway.

Thing 1 has been doing okay with the packed lunches. But a curious pattern has begun to emerge. The first day of school he ate just about everything from both his breakfast and his lunch. But he told me that in addition to the oatmeal that I packed him that he had the juice and pancakes that the school served. For lunch he just ate his home food. Okay...And then last Friday he ate the school's offering for lunch, 'square cheese' sandwiches with chips (CHIPS???) and a plum. On top of their lunch he ate about half of the lunch I provided. For breakfast he just ate what I provided. He seems to be double dipping when he is hungry, which I am surprisingly okay about. I want him to make his own decisions. It is clear that he doesn't want to fess up about what he has been eating. After a couple of years of me on my health kick he knows that I am the food gestapo of the house. And that makes me a little sad. I keep telling him that mommy won't be mad if he eats the school food, but would he please just tell me what he ate? It usually takes that promise to get him to come clean. The dialogue now becomes about how and WHY to make good food choices. I don't want to swoop in and force him to eat carrots and hummus. I want him to come to that conclusion on his own. That's how he becomes a functioning healthy adult.

But he is FOUR. It is hard for him to make good food choices. And there is something else besides simple menu offering that I NEVER thought about, peer pressure. The very first day I packed Thing 1 breakfast I made a smoothie and a bowl of oatmeal with raisins. He ate everything. But just before bed he told me out of the blue that the kids at school said his smoothies looked gross. He said they told him not to drink it. (Okay okay, I snuck some kale in there, so sue me-it's not like he could taste it!!!!) So I swallowed hard and asked what he thought of the smoothie. He said it was good and that he drank the whole thing. So I said okay, what do those kids know anyway? I went on to say that it was a good thing that they thought it was gross because then he wouldn't have to share any of it. I said to him 'If you had been holding a bag of cookies, they each would have asked you for one.' That made sense to him.

I know this is going to be hard. This is the first time that he has been exposed to peer pressure. This is the first time he has had to eat meals outside of his house every day. He is going to begin to see how other people live. It is an opportunity for me to explain why I make the decisions that I do. My greatest hope is that he comes home and tells me the food I pack for him is so much more delicious than the processed food he could get at school. My greatest fear is that he will come home and tell me that the kids are making fun of him because he is eating too healthy. Food shouldn't be an opportunity to alienate people. But then again, adults at my own office have been known to make a little fun of me because of my choice of grub. I see him trying to sort out all this information to find out where he belongs and where he wants to belong. As much as I want to intervene, the decision is his to make.

As I mentioned, Thing 2 did not eat his first day of school, except for some pear I had sent with him. The second day he did better. I imagine it will get slightly better each day. Until then I am going to make him breakfast in the morning before we leave. I can fry up some green eggs, soaked pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal. Anything to get some good nutrition into him before he goes to daycare and refuses to eat. Then he will get dinner in the evening. Anything in-between 7am and 6pm is gravy.

The transition has been tough. My flow has been completely turned upside down. But each day I am learning more tricks, and in another month I am sure I will have established a routine. Stay tuned for some tips about how to get out the door on time with everybody packed with food they like!

What tips and tricks do you have for packing lunches?

This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays and Fight Back Fridays

My Kids (and I) Ruin Everything

My weekend sort of unofficially started Thursday evening. DH and I made dinner which NO ONE wanted to eat. The screamed, they fussed. They got up out of their chairs and ran around. Thing 1 had one time out that lasted for at least ten minutes because he insisted on leaving the corner, only to make us start the time out over. Thing 2 didn’t actually eat anything, which I wish I could say was a rarity. I joke now that he eats breakfast, morning snack, afternoon snack and nothing else. I suppose that is three meals, no? Since Thing 1 did eat dinner, so he had some kefir ice cream after dinner. But Thing 2 did not. Thing 2 went ballistic. This loveliness was followed by a bath in which there was hitting and water dumping. I was completely wet, which was enough to make me fly off the handle. Sweet huh?

Then at 8pm, just as the kids are getting settled into their beds, I realize I have forgotten a very important Skype date with my family. Like plum forgotten. I got the kids out of bed and we managed to work in a quick speakerphone phone call. I felt so guilty. Terrible in fact, I cried about it.

Around 3:45am, Thing 1 came into our bed. He was completely naked, holding a fresh set of new clothes. I wasn’t actually surprised. I had run out of overnight diapers and we had had a tremendous battle over a stupid glass of water the night before. His bed was soaked, he had no where else to sleep. He moved into our bed. Thing 1 punched me, he kicked me, he ended up sleeping sideways on our bed with his feet resting in my armpits and his head in DH’s back. He finally fell asleep at 4:50am. Which happened to be 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I never had gone back to sleep. I had made plans to meet a girlfriend early for a run in the park. If I hadn’t made plans to run with her I would have totally scaled exercise that morning.

While the kids were okay Saturday behavior-wise, we were out running errands in the morning when I texted a good friend about her son’s birthday party that day. “Where and when again?” I asked her. I didn’t receive a reply. Around one with the kids either asleep or out with Daddy I brought up the evite to be sure of what time the party was. OMG. The party was at 9am. We missed our friend’s son’s 4th birthday party? What kind of lousy mom misses something like that? It was treasonous.

Sunday started out overnight again, with Thing 1 coming into our bed at 1am, naked but this time holding no clothes. He had an overnight diaper by this point, so I am not sure how this all happened. But there he was again, kicking and punching us. DH and I were not happy. But I think that made it all the more stressful for Thing 1, because with his wet bed he didn’t really have any other place to sleep. I *almost* went and slept on the couch. But I didn’t. I should have, I felt wretched in the morning. And Thing 2 awoke at 5:15am in his crib to see his big brother gone. He assumed that he had overslept and everyone else must be up. He would not go back to sleep.

Sunday morning started well enough, a little sleep deprived, but nothing a little coffee couldn’t fix. But the day really started turning south when at my mother in law’s house Thing 1 tripped on her fan and broke it. He didn’t mean to trip on the fan, but it wasn’t a complete accident either. We went to 4 stores to find one that was suitable to replace it. And finally, Thing 1 refused to go up to my MIL’s apartment and give her the new fan. Let’s just say he didn’t win that fight.
Later in the afternoon we met my brother in law and his kids at the local pool, the Things had a blast. Only Thing 1 started choking on some pool water he swallowed and he threw up in the pool. DH swears that other parents picked up their tots and ran for cover. They closed the pool for 30 minutes.

Then when we came home, a full 5 hours after the original schedule, there were more hysterics, more punch-up drenching baths and maybe a hot dog or two was consumed. Currently I am running 5 loads of wash downstairs in our laundry room, much of which is soaked in toddler urine. So when I sat down to write something for the blog today, I just couldn’t write about finding chamomile at the farmer’s market (you know how to brew a cup of tea). I couldn’t produce a post about how it is sour cherry season or brag that I bought 3.5 pounds of them this weekend, pitted them and froze them. And I couldn’t post about the summer squash, kale and snow peas I sautéed in tomato basil sauce and served with pasta. I am way too tired. I feel completely overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed by the sleep deprivation, overwhelmed by cramming a work week into three days, overwhelmed by housecleaning, overwhelmed by carrying my kids EVERYWHERE because they refuse to walk. No, writing about sweet, pretty food topics just didn’t seem right. My heart wasn’t in it. It just wasn’t….funny enough.

Reader Reaction: The Stigma of Being Fat

After my post The Stigma of Being Fat published, I had a conversation with a long time friend. She had so much to say about my post that I suggested that instead of commenting, that she should email me and I would post her comments in their own post. I think her perspective is important and not isolated. And the discussion surrounding the stigma and discrimination of obesity is one that I think we need to have as a nation. So I'll start here.

Speaking as someone who was an obese child and is now an obese adult I say that I really hope no one wants us to accept being fat as viable way of life. It sucks on so many levels. That said, I have never had a bully express their concern for my health or quality of life. They tell me and other obese individuals, in no uncertain terms that we are not as good as they are. We are less than. We are not lovable. We don't perform as well in the work place, we are simply not worthy of the space we inhabit. When I am bullied in my life it makes me feel so low, so hopeless and desperate that I feel the need to drug myself to escape the pain. My drug of choice?? Pizza, Cake, Cookies...all manner of highly processed, sugar and fat and chemical laden yummies that I'm told through advertisements will alleviate my worst pains and make me happy. So the stigma against fat people MUST GO. It's un-Christian, inhumane and mostly it is unhelpful.

I hope you don't mind if I reveal something personal from both our lives, COB. When we were roommates in college you were the most loving and supportive friend I've probably ever had. You encouraged me to love myself and care for myself. And what happened? World! Hear me now! I began a journey in which I lost 75 pounds. I began to exercise. I kept it off for several years. I felt great. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life before or since. Unfortunately I wasn't able to sustain it over the long haul due to some very deeply-seated issues and bad habits and blah blah blah. That's not the point. Obviously anecdotes do not count as research except in our own lives. My research leads me to believe that the only way out of this miserable fat life is up. I must love and accept myself before I can heal and be healthy.

Let me preface my next statement by saying that I do not blame anyone but myself. I make my own choices. But that doesn't mean there aren't a whole host of contributors and challenges to my personal goals. My drug of choice is everywhere! Restaurants, advertisements, pushers in the form of coworkers, friends and family, it’s virtually inescapable. To be fair, drug addicts don’t have to contend with the constant barrage of images of their drug. It’s not sold literally on every single corner or in drive-thrus (or is it?). And there are people everywhere telling me I don’t deserve even my own love because of my obesity and in low moments I believe them and turn to my ever-present and reasonably priced drugs. How can I possibly lose weight and lead a healthy life in such an environment?! Even having a best friend on a whole food crusade has not alleviated my problems.

Yes I joined a CSA, I’m eating more veggies than ever before. But I truly struggle at the grocery store or the restaurant to make the choices I know are better for me. On the one hand I’m disgusted by microwaveable low-fat, low-carb “health” meals…but I still buy them sometimes when I’m at a loss. Why on earth am I telling you all of this? Because I truly believe it matters. I am living proof of our country’s failure when it comes to food and diet. I am the end result of everything the whole-food movement is trying to combat. I wish my parents had tried harder to get me to eat healthily. They openly admit they gave up trying to make me eat vegetables at around 4. I vividly remember our fridge was full of real Coca Cola, Oscar Meyer Bologna, Lays potato chips and Ruffles and Doritos. Then in the late 80s there was a shift…to Diet Coke, Lite Bologna, Miracle Whip, Baked Chips. We stopped having Tyson Microwaveable dinners and started having Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice. And we all gained weight.

Most of America, I believe, is living in a delusional state where they don’t believe or accept that they are eating unhealthily. That they are contributing to their children’s obesity. They DO need a wakeup call. That is my opinion. But even being awakened, as I feel I have been, is only the first step, not the answer because we will struggle between knowing what we should eat: whole foods, and wanting so badly to eat the foods we grew up with, the foods we’ve been conditioned and programmed to eat for the last 30 years. We will stand in the supermarket trying to decide between the bagged organic baby greens and the low-fat, low-calorie, low-sodium can of soup. And in frustration we’ll say “F*** it!” and grab a burger instead.

What we need is a revolution! We need, as a society, to create an entirely new environment of understanding and support. We need to reject, as a whole, these nonfood options. We need to demand real food. It should be everywhere. It should be the cultural habit to eat healthfully and wholly. If it’s everywhere, if it’s the norm, not only would today’s children have it easier when they become adults, but those of us fighting our bad habits and compulsions would surely have an easier time making decisions if the options were fewer and healthier in nature. If my choices were between Kale, Chard and Collard Greens it would be much easier to choose the healthy option than when my choices are fast food, packaged food and salad. But maybe I’m the one who’s delusional because this all seems way too much to ask of our head-in-the-ground society.

Anatomy of a Weeknight

This post is for anyone who has ever wondered what that awful noise is as they walked by our apartment door. This post is also for all my colleagues who feel jealous that I leave the office earlier than they do. (PS-I also come into the office an hour earlier than they do.) And this post is for anyone who thinks we are crazy for taking on cooking every night on top of everything else we do…This is what I do, every night. (Uuuhh, insert different food for each night though….)

· 5:10 PM-S#!t! It is time for me to walk out of the office!
· 5:20 PM-Train is supposed to arrive. It doesn’t.
· 5:25 PM-Train arrives. I pack on.
· 5:58 PM-Get off train, walk home. Run into neighbors and friends, chat on the way home.
· 6:03 PM-I walk in the door. Thing 1 sneers, Thing 2 runs up to me calling ‘Nana!’ (Yes, he calls me Nana, not Mama, even though he is almost 2 years old. He says M’s, just not in reference to me).
· 6:07 PM-Baby sitter leaves, I turn on Wonder Pets. Big smiles from everyone including Mommy.
· 6:10 PM-Realize I forgot to defrost the ground beef.
· 6:12 PM-Run the beef under warm water.
· 6:15 PM-Chop broccoli. Get the pots and pans out to start frying the ground beef and boiling the broccoli. Put the water on for the broccoli.
· 6:18 PM-Change clothes. Oh yeah! I had to pee since before I left the office. Go to the bathroom.
· 6:20 PM-Take away the broom that Thing 2 has fished out of the closet and is now using to dust the coffee table. “Yuk, that’s dirty!”
· 6:21 PM-Heat up the pan to fry up hamburgers. Fill up the Thing’s water cups.
· 6:22 PM-Intervene between Thing 1 and Thing 2. “That’s ONE, don’t throw his toys, it isn’t nice”
· 6:23 PM-“That’s TWO!!!”
· 6:24 PM-Start frying the burgers, put the broccoli into the boiling water.
· 6:25 PM-Sit down with the kiddies to watch Moose and Zee. Cuddles, maybe a kiss or two.
· 6:30 PM- *Sniff Sniff* Oh Dear! Burgers are done!!
· 6:31 PM-Microwave the leftover brown rice.
· 6:32 PM-Plates on the table. “I am turning off the TV! No, we are not watching TV tonight during dinner….We are going to talk about our day…Yes, we have to.”
· 6:38 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat again.
· 6:40 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:42 PM-Bribe Thing 1, if he eats 4 more bites of meat, he can have some watermelon after dinner. Thing 1 finishes all his meat, which is way more than the four bites I asked him to eat.
· 6:55 PM-Thing 1 gets his watermelon. Thing 2 cries because he wants some too. But seeing as how he has eaten nothing all day but apples, strawberries, a banana milk and toast (maybe some egg for breakfast), I have a hard time giving him MORE fruit.
· 7:00 PM-Clean Up Time!!
· 7:15 PM-Bath Time!!
· 7:17 PM-Thing 1 shoots Thing 2 in the face with a water gun. Mommy confiscates it.
· 7:25 PM-Screaming bloody murder, oh Lordy it’s a hair washing night.
· 7:30 PM-Daddy’s home from work! Hallelujah! Tooth brush time!
· 7:35 PM-Kids are dried off and in PJs.
· 7:40 PM-Book reading time. Thing 1 listens while Thing 2 runs around unloading toys that were previously put away.
· 7:55 PM-Kisses all around, maybe some screaming in protest. Daddy piles everyone in bed.
· 8:00 PM- Mommy cracks that bottle of white wine that has been talking to her since she walked in the door.

The 100 Calorie Letter

The other day I received an organic hit from a search engine under the search term “I have only eaten 100 calories today will that help me lose weight”. Since writing the post about A Nice Healthy 200 Calorie Meal, I get 5-10 hits a week from people looking for 200 calorie meals. And I don’t come up on the first page. Which leads me to believe that people are searching hard for low calorie meals in spite of some nutritional math that doesn’t add up (Even 5-200 calorie meals in one day still only adds up to 1000 calories, well below what a normal person should be eating).
But to the person who hit my site having eaten only 100 calories, I would like to write this post directly to you…

We as Americans are desperate to lose weight. We will try fake diet food, starvation (for a day at least), diet pills, shakes and even scary surgery to help us. But at the end of the day, we continue to gain instead of lose. I carried around with me for years an extra 10-15 pounds and I alternated between being completely obsessed with losing weight and not caring and embracing my cheeseburgers “curves”.

Eating only 100 calories in a day might start out as a great weight loss trick. But if you are able to maintain fasting for more than 12 hours (most people cannot when surrounded like we are by food), then your body will likely enter starvation response mode. Starvation Response is the process that the body undergoes when it is deprived of calories. It is a survival technique that evolved to enable humans to survive food shortages typical in a hunter/ gatherer lifestyle. Starvation Response allows one’s body to conserve energy for the brain while maintaining cognitive function and muscular structures, at least at first. According to Wikipedia, the brain typically uses glucose for its fuel, though the body can break down fats into glucose. When you stop eating your body first turns to its fat reserves and the brain must switch to using fatty acids for fuel, which under normal conditions it will not do. The body then conserves glucose. After several days, the body will begin to breakdown lean muscle. The proteins taken from your muscular structures can be converted into glucose that the brain can use. Take a look through the whole Wikipedia page, I found it enlightening. Plus I could never explain all the biological nuances.

Over time, the starvation dieter will find that he is able to lose little weight. And during celebration or binge eating, he will likely gain weight quickly as the body scrambles to add fat reserves. Many people (including me) believe that this preoccupation with low fat and low calorie foods is causing much of our metabolism problems. People regularly eat silly 200 calorie meals only to have their ‘reserve’ break down a few hours later and consume 600-800 calorie snacks! This doesn’t make any logical sense to me.

To maintain health we must focus our diets around quality protein and lots and lots of veggies. Then we can add whole grains, fruits or possibly dairy to that. But all the fake doctored up diet foods are causing even more trouble. There never was anything wrong with food. In fact it was all we could eat back before our current obesity crisis, back before diet foods and fake foods. And we were all a lot skinner then. God made food the way it was supposed to be, the way it was intended to be, the way we need it to be in order to be healthy. We were not plopped here on earth to figure out what to eat. We evolved with our food, and that’s why it works so well.

And of course, it comes back to love. We must love ourselves. When we love and respect ourselves, we can take care of our bodies in the proper way. For me, that took having children. In trying to set a good example for my kid’s eating habits, I realized that I needed to care for myself in the same loving way I was caring for them. Loving and respecting myself enough to say ‘those Doritos don’t love you back’ became a key point in my current good health. Now I view food as something that can keep me running in tip top shape. I do still eat some junk and when I do I pay with lethargy and grumpiness. I don’t appreciate food doing that to me. Junk food is like an abusive spouse.

So Dear, whoever you are, wherever you are…Starvation is not the answer. It is not about the food being in control. It is not even about major changes! Proper weight management is all about some small shifts: eating more veggies to get all the nutrients you need (you already knew that), eating foods whole so as not to eliminate the fats or fiber you need, and eliminating the stuff that you are eating that is not actually food (i.e.-chemicals and preservatives, etc). The food stuff is easy, the loving yourself enough to eat properly is a bigger concern. But when you begin to do that, you just might find that you have the upper hand, not food.

This post has been shared with Simple Lives Thursday

I Wish My A** Would Speak Up More

My mouth, well she is quite a yakker.
And she causes me to be a snacker.
She just talks, begs and groans, she won't quit,
Until she has thrown quite a fit.
When my mouth wants some junk she just yells,
And this nagging, it sounds alarm bells
"Give me cake, chips and pizza right now!"
She won't quit 'til I'm big as a cow.

Now my tummy is harder to read.
Because sometimes she says what I need.
When I truly need food then she cries,
"Give me meat, milk or veggies, not pies"
But when she's had her fill she falls quiet.
Yet my Mouth is still yearning to try it!
When my tum's full my mouth takes control
It is clear that she's still on a roll.

My back side's the quietest of all.
She speaks in a voice that's so small.
I wish that she'd turn up the sound
And pound my mouth down to the ground.
"Your crying for snacks Mouth is weak
And those calories just make me freak!
All those chips are just making me grow.
Getting bigger, it makes my top blow!"

I wish that my a** would speak up.
Or my mouth would just simply shut up.
Because every time I see a treat,
It always goes straight to my seat.
But if my mouth didn't want junk
Then I could resist and not flunk.
It's so hard to say no when your mouth
Keeps on making your diet go south!

Food is a Socio-Economic Problem

I know this headline is not a news flash to anyone reading.

Last week I discovered a great new blog, The Sweet Beet, written by Michelle Madden, a woman who, much like me, overcame her dysfunctional relationship with food to find that life on the other side is delicious. A friend sent me a link from an article that the author had written for Huffington Post (how do I submit to the Huffington Post??), which lead me to her blog. She had recently posted about eggs. Yummy, Unctuous, Delicious Eggs. I innocently commented on her blog, saying that I get my eggs from one particular farm at the farmer's market, but that I was thinking of looking for a better quality egg. I asked her which farm she bought her eggs.

So she told me that she loved the eggs from Violet Hill Farm, which is only at the Union Square Farmer's Market on Saturdays (when I am not at my nearby office). And she went further to say that she always felt that the farm who grows my eggs has never had knowledgeable staff at the farmer's market. AND that their eggs are graded which means they definitely have more than 3000 hens. I know the eggs I buy are not certified organic, but I always believed that they are raised on a farm that practices low spray only-when-necessary practices, so I have always trusted them to make good choices. Plus, they are $4 a dozen versus $3 at the grocery store, or $8-12 from some of the other certified organic farms at the market.

Now I am a big girl, so even though I was really bummed by what she told me, I can deal. Part of me knew that I should be eating the better organic eggs. Hell, that's why I asked the question. But I am totally maxed out. I cannot possibly spend one more dollar on food. Something else will have to come off the table in order to afford these eggs. And that is when it hit me. Here I am in New York City with all the resources in the world, and even I can't make my food perfect; how is anyone eating clean unindustrial food?

Madden's comments got me thinking about what is the standard that we should be eating. And is access to clean food a civil right? I kind of think it is. But how do we define clean food when we talk about democracy and a body of people 300 million strong? The USDA, FDA and maybe some other government agencies want you to believe that organically raised foods have the same nutritional properties as conventionally raised fare. Never mind that the EU feels differently. But I have noticed a massive difference in my health since switching to organics. I eat less, have fewer cravings, I sleep better and overall feel better and have more energy. My government would like me to believe that my increase in general well being is because I am finally eating the healthy foods they have been recommending for years. But that's not really true since I try to keep my servings of all cereal products to 3 or so in a day and they have been recommending 9-11 servings since the early 90's. I also eat probably almost 50% more fat in a day than they recommend. It all leads me to believe that eating organic matters. This says nothing of other preservatives and chemical conditioning agents that I am no longer consuming because I am no longer eating commercially processed foods.

But even though I go to all this effort to eat clean and locally, there are folks out there like Madden that are doing a better job of it than me. I want to eat 100% clean and local. I want all my food to come from small farms. But between child care and insurance payments and mortgages, I can't shell out any more cash.

I am not being cheap. According to an interesting article from Grist I spend more on groceries than virtually anyone else in the country. Manhattan averages the highest per capita food spending in the nation. Their numbers include restaurants but not booze. But, although my spending is in line with my locality I am not using any of my money in restaurants. Which leads me to believe that I spend more on groceries than virtually everyone else in the country. So, if that is the case, and even I can't afford to eat 100% clean, what about everyone else???

If you believe that conventionally raised food is lower in nutrients but you know that it is cheaper, then do you believe that it is okay that people living in lower socio-economic levels eat food that is lower in nutrients? Is it okay that our food companies aggressively market inexpensive products of dubious nutritional value to those with fewer means? Is anyone else stepping back from all the details to see the same big picture as me? Government farm subsidies, USDA policy and our "free market" has created a class system for health and nutrition in our country. If you distill it further you see, health is something you have to pay for in this country. I always kind of saw it as one of the personal liberties-life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? For some people the lack of access to clean food is getting in the way of their pursuing life at all. And the fact that the government is funding it by keeping corn cheap so it can be made into so many sodas and hamburgers is disgusting to me. Every person in this country should have access to clean food. If this were a conversation about access to clean water, would your opinion be different?

I have been thinking about something for a long time. Do our representatives not know about our desire for clean food, fewer pesticides and fewer added sugars and chemical preservatives. There has been so much in fighting in the industry over Front of Package labeling, yet the industry always wins on that one. How come our representatives aren't sticking up for the safety of the consumer?

Of course I know the answer. Money. But I have watched while other issues have been aggressively acted upon in the public, like smoking. The tide turned against the tobacco companies and now the government has been tough on them. Fewer people smoke and that is a good thing! But the food companies are trickier because people need food to live. People do not need cigarettes to live. But what if there were more activists that were lobbying for tighter regulation of chemical preservatives? Or lobbying for lower allowable limits of food dyes? Or working hard to change farm subsidies? What if we had more people like us fighting the good fight in Washington? Could we get more accomplished that was actually in the consumer's best interest?

What if a million people marched on Washington to make a statement that we are sick and tired of how our government policies are propping up unsafe food and our current pay-to-be-healthy caste system? Would you come? Would you march? Mobs of angry people do change the world. I would willingly stand up and say I will be person one in my mob.

So I am just putting it out there. I want to organize a march on Washington. I am angry about food. I am angry that no one in our government is doing anything about it. I am angry that the USDA is still pushing a low fat high grain diet even amidst all the science of the last 20 years. I am angry that the National School Lunch Program serves such crappy sugar laden food. I am angry that the FDA waits until a significant number of people die from any additive until it reevaluates whether it is safe. I am angry that the Sugar Lobby is still pushing us to eat more sugar through effective lobbying. I am angry that my own mother died of cancer in a decade where few health professionals saw the link between diet and health. I want a voice. But I don't know how to start. Are their food activist groups that I can join? Is anyone else out there as angry as I am? Should I just give up? I need to hear from you today. Please comment. If the problems in our industrial food complex make you mad, let me know. If you would show up to a march on Washington, let me know. And, if you think I am just being kooky, let me know that too.