Having kids has been the best thing I have ever done with my life. It has also been the most time consuming, the most patience-testing, the most expensive and the most trying thing I have ever done with my life. My children are so active that sometimes I wonder if it is just us? I also wonder how people decide to have more than two kids. I also wonder why my boss doesn't give me a medal some days just for showing up.
I got tons of advice before I had children. None of it was any newsflash. And none of it helped me to prepare for actually having children. Here are the ten things I wish people WOULD have told me prior to having children.
1-You will never again sleep past 8 o'clock without some prior planning and or tag teaming. DH and I have designated sleep in days. He gets Saturday and I get Sunday. But for almost three years we hadn't figured that nugget out and when the kids got up we both got up. We are regular geniuses, eh?
2-Just because you put your kids to bed late does NOT mean that they will wake up late. I have put my kids to bed at ten PM only to have them still awake at 6:30. And you know what happens next right? Crankypants kids. Sometimes it takes two days for them to catch up on one late night. Boy, that sure is a motivator for turning in early.
3-You *might* never wear a bikini again. My mother-in-law loves to remind me that she wore a bikini until she was almost fifty and she bore four kids. Yes you heard that right. And I saw the pictures and she was pretty smokin' in that bikini. I always thought that wearing a bikini was up to the person. If you were motivated to wear a bikini then you worked out and watched what you ate and you could look fabulous. You can do anything that you put your mind to!! Sorry, no go. Having children is like rolling the sexy-dice, you might go back looking like your old self or you might end up disfigured and with stretch marks. I, gentle friends, am the latter. Thing 2 was so large that I stretched quite badly even though I did everything right. And because I have a relatively small frame but bore this massive man-child, my stomach now looks like someone has let the air out of it. So even though I still fit into my now 12-year-old bikinis, seeing me on a beach or community pool actually wearing one of them would be a not-good idea. 'She sure can clear a pool' is not a compliment.
4-One-piece swimsuits never look as good as the two-pieces. Now that I pretty much wear one pieces all the time, I must tell you, designers throw together their one piece designs after all the sexy two pieces are out of the way. And for a long waisted girl like me, I have to buy a size 10 or 12 just to get them to be long enough. Then the arm holes are too big or the leg holes stretch up super high resulting in a wedgie every time I take a step. Seriously? I am ready to leave the beach and put my shorts back on.
5-All the furniture that you own will be destroyed. I understood, babies mean baby-proofing. So I placed my grandmother's delicate and cherished Lladro figurines in the china cabinet out of reach. But I can't put the couch in the china cabinet. Can I? We got a lovely but not terribly expensive coffee table just before I got preggers with Thing 1. Today it has a warped panel from spilled milk and dozens of tiny teeth marks from when Thing 2 was teething. Our couch also wasn't super fancy, but we bought it new five years ago and didn't shop the sales. It now sags in the middle has huge rips in the fabric. And that doesn't even mention all the times one kid or another has peed on it. Yeah-you totally want to come over to my house don't you?
6-Baby gear has a two-kid life time. My heart bleeds for a third baby. But I do NOT think that will be happening unless we somehow hit the big time. Besides the obvious, needing a bigger apartment and car, we have nothing left from when Thing 1 was a baby. All of the gear we bought broke while Thing 2 was using it. The swing, the bouncy seat, the toys, the clothes, the high chair, the spoons and forks, you name it, it broke. So I get it. That third kid is an expensive endeavor making a fourth kid almost necessary to justify the expense. On the flip side, throwing away broken stuff has been far easier than throwing away treasured baby things that we no longer need. It isn't like I have the room to store all those treasured memories anyway.
7-You will never again have trouble falling asleep. Not much to say about that. When I finally get to sleep, I go to sleep. None of this tossing and turning bullshit.
8-Your boobs will not necessarily stay big. In fact they probably will shrink. My mother always told me that after she had kids her boobs stayed bigger than they were beforehand. I was ready for this!!! I am one of the founding members of the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Comittee, so this was one thing I was really hoping for after having children. However, I lost quite a bit of weight after having kids, more than I had gained in pregnancy. So my story isn't exactly like my mother's. In fact I found myself in Macy's eight or so months after Thing 1 was born saying to the sales woman 'My bras just aren't fitting right anymore.' She took one look at me and told me my problem, I was actually an A cup. Do you know that they don't make a whole lot of A cup bras? Fast forward to just a few months ago. I went to Bloomingdale's. I knew to ask for help since there were likely 5 bras in the whole store that would fit me. The woman measured me and asked me 'Have you ever considered trying petite bras?' I said 'Why would I? I am almost 5'8".' The ending of that story? Companies do make double A petite bras and almost no one stocks that size. Being me is so awesome, isn't it?
9-The terrible twos aren't the end of the story. The threes are pretty terrible too and even four can have its moments. I waited for Thing 1's third birthday singing a song about happy times are here again. And I discovered that three is worse that two. When your kids are two, they melt down over everything. And it is easy not to get sucked into their irrational spiral. You step over them writhing on the floor and wait for them to get over their tantrum. At three the tantrums become physical. They want candy, you say no, they run to the pantry and start climbing up the shelves in the cabinet. At four they give you three reasons why you should give them candy AND they ask nicely and when you still say no they go for broke screaming at the top of their lungs. Can someone please tell me that five is better? Six? I am ready for anything these days.
10-Nothing will ever be perfect. The only advice I ever give new or expecting parents is 'Never say never'. It is not a call to abandon principles but rather a reminder that sometimes when faced with difficult or stressful situations, you might make different choices than when you are still pregnant, calm and well rested. I never thought I would allow my kids to watch TV during dinner or get what they want after a tantrum, but every day is different and every situation is different. While a child can make a habit in just three or four days, many times that habit can also be broken in three or four days too.
11-Kids don't learn anything the first time you teach them something new. Okay, that might not be entirely true. But I think what it really means is that it takes kids longer than one time to learn anything. So don't stress if they don't learn right away or maybe you didn't explain it right the first time. It doesn't matter because you will get another chance to teach them again. And I am not talking about building block towers or writing the letter B, I am talking about being kind to friends, telling the truth and always doing your best. These are lessons that take years to learn, so get ready to teach them....over and over and over again.
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Parenting. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Parenting. Tampilkan semua postingan
21 November 2011
31 Oktober 2011
The Grinch That Stole Halloween
It should not be shocking that I dislike Halloween. Okay, it is not so much Halloween that I dislike, it is the candy, because the costumes and the fall theme are pretty fun! So I, um...kinda...um, never told my kids about trick or treating. Plus I have never taken them. They know about it now. But they didn't hear it from me. And while they have costumes, I don't plan on taking them trick or treating again this year. And furthermore, I don't feel the slightest guilty about it. Let me try to explain why.
Remember back when you were a kid? Halloween was an exciting time when you got to choose your costume, my mom (and later I) made my costume and then you got to show it off while getting candy from the neighbors? I remember the houses that gave out Snickers, Bottle Caps and caramels (good candy) and the houses that gave out peanut squares, Charleston Chews and bubble gum (lousy candy). And most of all I remember the houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy as opposed to one or two pieces. Those houses rocked. After the evening's haul had been acquired, we would go back home and sort through everything (make sure there were no acid squares or anything that could have had a razor blade in it), eat our most favorite pieces and pass out from all the excitement
Every year I could pour my modest haul between my two legs and count the pieces. My candy was all eaten up in a couple of weeks. I never remember having any leftover at Thanksgiving. Also, I don't think my mother ever took candy away from me in the hopes that I would eat less of it. My mother never worried about that.
Today, things seem so different. First off, I have bought every Halloween costume that my kids have ever had. I never even tried making something. But this year Thing 1 wanted to dress up as Super Why, the leader of the Super Readers on the eponymous show. I was pretty sure that no one makes a Super Why costume. So we went out and bought green tee-shirts, felt, glitter paint and fabric glue and now we have...ta-da!
I am so proud of this! Even though now I know that I spent more on supplies than the costume would have cost, it doesn't matter. Thing 1 loves this. Thing 2 has no idea what is going on, but he loves it too. I do think that part of the fun of Halloween this year has been the homemade costume. I would like to think that I will do this every year until they get old enough to get bored of it. Again, I promise to be inconsistent at best.
But also, I feel like Halloween has turned into a no-rules opportunity for kids to gorge on candy. Perhaps too great a societal focus on healthy eating has created a super demand for unhealthy foods? Even though we don't actually eat all that healthfully as a society, because we know it and obsess over it we create great guilt over our eating habits. Then Halloween rolls around and kids stuff their faces with candy like they will never have it again. This is classic deprivation behavior. What is so crazy is that most people and kids are not junk food or candy deprived. I wish I had more time to study eating behavior and culture.
Remember what I said about those houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy? Well now it seems like everyone is doing it. Our wonderful daycare took Thing 2 trick or treating last Friday around at some local businesses. He came home with easily 2 pounds of candy. He is 2!!! Now I don't fault the daycare. I truly love them. They didn't let him EAT the candy and trick or treating was a very fun activity for the kids. I am glad that Thing 2 went and had such a great time. But can you imagine seeing a dressed up 2 year old and giving him a massive handful of candy? I mean, they don't even care about the candy. The fun for them is the interaction. This is what he came home with.
The quantity is disturbing to me. What ever happened to giving out one or two pieces to each kid? Why am I looked upon as such a stingy Grinch for not letting my kids gorge on candy? Am I depriving them of a rite of passage? Or am I depriving them of a stomach ache? Though perhaps I am not the only adult with a bit of good sense. If you look closely in the pile, you will see two or three small toys and two toothbrushes. Nice.
For the record, I do let my kids have candy. And not just on Halloween. They eat some candy probably every week, though that is usually because DH has something in his pocket when he gets home from work. That is fine, but I don't see the sense in going overboard. I don't restrict my kids food intake. If you are hungry and want thirds, go for it. We eat fat. We eat lots of fat, butter on toast, full fat dairy products, nuts and even coconut oil on our oatmeal! But I do restrict junk food, candy particularly. Does that make me a Grinch? I think it makes me sensible. And it is sad to me to think that such behavior is 'old-fashioned'.
Furthermore, why should I take my kids trick or treating on Halloween? They both went trick or treating at their schools, they'll get treats and parties on top of that, we plan on going to a Halloween party where there will definitely be treats, and every family member and friend that stops by comes with something sweet for the kids. The world has given my kids enough candy. Why the hell do I need to drag them from apartment to apartment in my building and ask for even more handouts from semi-strangers. Isn't the fun of Halloween in dressing up, seeing friends and having a party on a week night? The candy seems like such a sad supporting act.
And lastly, I admit. I am that mom. I will totally throw out all remaining candy that has not been consumed within a week or two. I have done it every year without fail. The kids have never noticed or cared. What a waste. Next time, just give my kid one piece. Any more is like throwing money in the garbage.
Bah Humbug.
Remember back when you were a kid? Halloween was an exciting time when you got to choose your costume, my mom (and later I) made my costume and then you got to show it off while getting candy from the neighbors? I remember the houses that gave out Snickers, Bottle Caps and caramels (good candy) and the houses that gave out peanut squares, Charleston Chews and bubble gum (lousy candy). And most of all I remember the houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy as opposed to one or two pieces. Those houses rocked. After the evening's haul had been acquired, we would go back home and sort through everything (make sure there were no acid squares or anything that could have had a razor blade in it), eat our most favorite pieces and pass out from all the excitement
Every year I could pour my modest haul between my two legs and count the pieces. My candy was all eaten up in a couple of weeks. I never remember having any leftover at Thanksgiving. Also, I don't think my mother ever took candy away from me in the hopes that I would eat less of it. My mother never worried about that.
Today, things seem so different. First off, I have bought every Halloween costume that my kids have ever had. I never even tried making something. But this year Thing 1 wanted to dress up as Super Why, the leader of the Super Readers on the eponymous show. I was pretty sure that no one makes a Super Why costume. So we went out and bought green tee-shirts, felt, glitter paint and fabric glue and now we have...ta-da!
I am so proud of this! Even though now I know that I spent more on supplies than the costume would have cost, it doesn't matter. Thing 1 loves this. Thing 2 has no idea what is going on, but he loves it too. I do think that part of the fun of Halloween this year has been the homemade costume. I would like to think that I will do this every year until they get old enough to get bored of it. Again, I promise to be inconsistent at best.
But also, I feel like Halloween has turned into a no-rules opportunity for kids to gorge on candy. Perhaps too great a societal focus on healthy eating has created a super demand for unhealthy foods? Even though we don't actually eat all that healthfully as a society, because we know it and obsess over it we create great guilt over our eating habits. Then Halloween rolls around and kids stuff their faces with candy like they will never have it again. This is classic deprivation behavior. What is so crazy is that most people and kids are not junk food or candy deprived. I wish I had more time to study eating behavior and culture.
Remember what I said about those houses that gave out HANDFULS of candy? Well now it seems like everyone is doing it. Our wonderful daycare took Thing 2 trick or treating last Friday around at some local businesses. He came home with easily 2 pounds of candy. He is 2!!! Now I don't fault the daycare. I truly love them. They didn't let him EAT the candy and trick or treating was a very fun activity for the kids. I am glad that Thing 2 went and had such a great time. But can you imagine seeing a dressed up 2 year old and giving him a massive handful of candy? I mean, they don't even care about the candy. The fun for them is the interaction. This is what he came home with.
The quantity is disturbing to me. What ever happened to giving out one or two pieces to each kid? Why am I looked upon as such a stingy Grinch for not letting my kids gorge on candy? Am I depriving them of a rite of passage? Or am I depriving them of a stomach ache? Though perhaps I am not the only adult with a bit of good sense. If you look closely in the pile, you will see two or three small toys and two toothbrushes. Nice.
For the record, I do let my kids have candy. And not just on Halloween. They eat some candy probably every week, though that is usually because DH has something in his pocket when he gets home from work. That is fine, but I don't see the sense in going overboard. I don't restrict my kids food intake. If you are hungry and want thirds, go for it. We eat fat. We eat lots of fat, butter on toast, full fat dairy products, nuts and even coconut oil on our oatmeal! But I do restrict junk food, candy particularly. Does that make me a Grinch? I think it makes me sensible. And it is sad to me to think that such behavior is 'old-fashioned'.
Furthermore, why should I take my kids trick or treating on Halloween? They both went trick or treating at their schools, they'll get treats and parties on top of that, we plan on going to a Halloween party where there will definitely be treats, and every family member and friend that stops by comes with something sweet for the kids. The world has given my kids enough candy. Why the hell do I need to drag them from apartment to apartment in my building and ask for even more handouts from semi-strangers. Isn't the fun of Halloween in dressing up, seeing friends and having a party on a week night? The candy seems like such a sad supporting act.
And lastly, I admit. I am that mom. I will totally throw out all remaining candy that has not been consumed within a week or two. I have done it every year without fail. The kids have never noticed or cared. What a waste. Next time, just give my kid one piece. Any more is like throwing money in the garbage.
Bah Humbug.
27 Oktober 2011
A TRUE Junk Food Conversation With Thing 1
The hours between drop off and pick up are a bit of a mysteryto me. Thing 1 doesn't always tell me what he does, what he is learning about or who his friends are. I hear from the teachers of course, but Thing 1 doesn't let me in on everything. Then randomly he will dump alot of information out at once. Over dinner last week, Thing 1 had the following to say to me:
Me: {Thing 1}, what did you have for lunch today?
T1: Nothing.
Me: You didn't have very much of the lunch that I packed. Did you eat the school lunch?
T1: No I didn't.
Me: You know it's okay. You can tell me if you eat the school's food. It's okay.
T1: No I didn't. Maybe a little. They had chips.
Me: Okay. You had chips for lunch? You weren't hungry for anything else? You ate a big breakfast. Were you not hungry today? Do you usually get hungry before lunch?
T1: (Looking off in space, not really paying attention) Yes! Very Very Hungry!!
Me: {Thing 1} Do you have a morning snack at school? (BTW-I know they do).
T1: Yes, we do.
Me: What did you have for your snack today?
T1: Your apple.
Me: That's good. What do the other kids bring for snack? (sorry--I couldn't resist)
T1: (Without hesitation) They bring junk food.
Me: They do? {Thing 1} what do they bring?
T1: Like...fruit snacks and......marshmallows. Hahahahaha! That was {So an So..}
Me: {Thing 1}, do you like your apple?
T1: Yes.
What do you think of this interaction? Questions? Concerns?
Me: {Thing 1}, what did you have for lunch today?
T1: Nothing.
Me: You didn't have very much of the lunch that I packed. Did you eat the school lunch?
T1: No I didn't.
Me: You know it's okay. You can tell me if you eat the school's food. It's okay.
T1: No I didn't. Maybe a little. They had chips.
Me: Okay. You had chips for lunch? You weren't hungry for anything else? You ate a big breakfast. Were you not hungry today? Do you usually get hungry before lunch?
T1: (Looking off in space, not really paying attention) Yes! Very Very Hungry!!
Me: {Thing 1} Do you have a morning snack at school? (BTW-I know they do).
T1: Yes, we do.
Me: What did you have for your snack today?
T1: Your apple.
Me: That's good. What do the other kids bring for snack? (sorry--I couldn't resist)
T1: (Without hesitation) They bring junk food.
Me: They do? {Thing 1} what do they bring?
T1: Like...fruit snacks and......marshmallows. Hahahahaha! That was {So an So..}
Me: {Thing 1}, do you like your apple?
T1: Yes.
What do you think of this interaction? Questions? Concerns?
17 Oktober 2011
The Lush, The Prude and The Kids
When I first heard the song 'Last Friday Night' by Katie Perry I was a little confused, overwhelmed, disgusted and angry. Perry's homage to binge drinking is troubling because her demographic is heavy with those who cannot legally drink (or legally drive, or legally be unattended in public places). Perhaps the song is more unnerving because it is so damned catchy. I found myself shocked that such a song would be on the radio for impressionable ears all while I was turning up the volume. The song is infuriatingly singable.
I have fond New York City memories of staying out all night and going to work with a manageable hangover. My first year out of college was a progression to adulthood. My first stop was the Tom Collins. Next was the Vodka Tonic until I was grown up enough to handle a proper Martini. I took my Martinis dirty until I now I look forward to little more than a glass of straight vodka. Winston Churchill once said that the proper way to craft a martini was to fill a glass with vodka and set the open bottle of vermouth next to it. Then recap the vermouth and enjoy your drink. Hawkeye Pierce from M.A.S.H. famously ordered his martinis so dry that he could 'shake the dust off of them'.
There is something heady about the twilight descending while standing on a tile floor in heels. The chatter of an excited crowd swirling around you all while you smell and taste your first sip of wine of the evening. That first sip is always the best one. But I rather think I have earned my memories. I learned to drink responsibly over the course of many years. My parents drank at home. They enjoyed themselves without going overboard. My college years were not filled with keg parties and trays of shots. I had a handful of overly anxious rebellious drinking bouts at 18 or 19, but they were few and far between.
Today I drink alot less than I used to, and martinis are mostly just a fond memory. But I still worry that my kids will grow up to develop troubling drinking behaviors. In fact I worry that drinking has replaced smoking as the 'cool habit' in ad campaigns and movies. Drinking can develop into an unhealthful and life strangling habit. And songs like Perry's 'Last Friday Night' or that Pink song with the ever-classy name 'You and Your Hand' only romance binge drinking and partying to a very young and impressionable fan base.
Jeez, really? When did I get so uncool? When I was 17 I was able to read Tom Robbins and Charles Buckowski without becoming a sexed up heroin addict. Why do I assume that today's kids don't share my same surprised reaction to the Perry song? I guess I don't find the song so offensive, twenty-somethings will have to learn to navigate this drinking culture. And a little wildness can be good to an otherwise serious youth (like I was). It is that I worry for the 16, 14, 12 and 8 year olds whose exposure to pop music is informing them on what the adult experience really is.
With that being said I can't say that I have been a great musical role model. Last week as I pushed both my kids down the street in their stroller, Thing 1 belts out "I am going, I am gooooooo-ing, Where streams of whiskey are flowing!" I remind you, he is 4. The Pogues may be revered as a traditional Irish band, but they are most certainly of the modern day and their songs of debauchery include the story of a young man who drinks until he chokes only to die the following morning and a man who tosses his cookies in the church collection plate. Do their bagpipes and international status allow them carte blanche to sing blithely about binge drinking? And since we are a family of some Irish decent should I find it less troubling to share this music with my children than that of some make-up faced pop tart? Sure the Pogues' music does not contain that seductive ingredient of sex, but their raw lyrics still make light of alcoholism.
So, if I write a food blog, why on earth bring this topic up? At the risk of painting myself as Tipper Gore, My children are getting bigger and they are more impressionable. I am conscious of what kind of world view I am presenting them. I don't want to be hypocritical, but I fear that this is impossible. There are so many slip ups a parent can make.
Also, I am examining my own complicated relationship with the bottle. I love drinking. Like really love drinking. It is not something I want to give up. But as I am getting older I am finding that my body is not tolerating alcohol like it once did. Drinking less produces a more negative side effect than it once did. I bring the topic up because while I have examined most of what I eat, I have not made similar decisions about what I drink. Perhaps it is time for me to become educated about what happens to one's body after a drink or two. Perhaps then I can educate my kids so that their choices are influenced by fact and not by the lyrics of a Katie Perry song.
This post is shared with Real Food Wednesdays and Healthy 2day Wednesdays, Simple Lives Thursdays and Fresh Bites Friday
I have fond New York City memories of staying out all night and going to work with a manageable hangover. My first year out of college was a progression to adulthood. My first stop was the Tom Collins. Next was the Vodka Tonic until I was grown up enough to handle a proper Martini. I took my Martinis dirty until I now I look forward to little more than a glass of straight vodka. Winston Churchill once said that the proper way to craft a martini was to fill a glass with vodka and set the open bottle of vermouth next to it. Then recap the vermouth and enjoy your drink. Hawkeye Pierce from M.A.S.H. famously ordered his martinis so dry that he could 'shake the dust off of them'.
There is something heady about the twilight descending while standing on a tile floor in heels. The chatter of an excited crowd swirling around you all while you smell and taste your first sip of wine of the evening. That first sip is always the best one. But I rather think I have earned my memories. I learned to drink responsibly over the course of many years. My parents drank at home. They enjoyed themselves without going overboard. My college years were not filled with keg parties and trays of shots. I had a handful of overly anxious rebellious drinking bouts at 18 or 19, but they were few and far between.
Today I drink alot less than I used to, and martinis are mostly just a fond memory. But I still worry that my kids will grow up to develop troubling drinking behaviors. In fact I worry that drinking has replaced smoking as the 'cool habit' in ad campaigns and movies. Drinking can develop into an unhealthful and life strangling habit. And songs like Perry's 'Last Friday Night' or that Pink song with the ever-classy name 'You and Your Hand' only romance binge drinking and partying to a very young and impressionable fan base.
Jeez, really? When did I get so uncool? When I was 17 I was able to read Tom Robbins and Charles Buckowski without becoming a sexed up heroin addict. Why do I assume that today's kids don't share my same surprised reaction to the Perry song? I guess I don't find the song so offensive, twenty-somethings will have to learn to navigate this drinking culture. And a little wildness can be good to an otherwise serious youth (like I was). It is that I worry for the 16, 14, 12 and 8 year olds whose exposure to pop music is informing them on what the adult experience really is.
With that being said I can't say that I have been a great musical role model. Last week as I pushed both my kids down the street in their stroller, Thing 1 belts out "I am going, I am gooooooo-ing, Where streams of whiskey are flowing!" I remind you, he is 4. The Pogues may be revered as a traditional Irish band, but they are most certainly of the modern day and their songs of debauchery include the story of a young man who drinks until he chokes only to die the following morning and a man who tosses his cookies in the church collection plate. Do their bagpipes and international status allow them carte blanche to sing blithely about binge drinking? And since we are a family of some Irish decent should I find it less troubling to share this music with my children than that of some make-up faced pop tart? Sure the Pogues' music does not contain that seductive ingredient of sex, but their raw lyrics still make light of alcoholism.
So, if I write a food blog, why on earth bring this topic up? At the risk of painting myself as Tipper Gore, My children are getting bigger and they are more impressionable. I am conscious of what kind of world view I am presenting them. I don't want to be hypocritical, but I fear that this is impossible. There are so many slip ups a parent can make.
Also, I am examining my own complicated relationship with the bottle. I love drinking. Like really love drinking. It is not something I want to give up. But as I am getting older I am finding that my body is not tolerating alcohol like it once did. Drinking less produces a more negative side effect than it once did. I bring the topic up because while I have examined most of what I eat, I have not made similar decisions about what I drink. Perhaps it is time for me to become educated about what happens to one's body after a drink or two. Perhaps then I can educate my kids so that their choices are influenced by fact and not by the lyrics of a Katie Perry song.
This post is shared with Real Food Wednesdays and Healthy 2day Wednesdays, Simple Lives Thursdays and Fresh Bites Friday
12 September 2011
Our First Week of School & School Food
Last week began a new adventure for all of us. After four years with a full time babysitter, Thing 1 started full time big boy Catholic School and Thing 2 started full time daycare. The reasons for the change were largely financial. Thing 1 needs to now be in a full day school, which can be pricey. And Thing 2 needs to start some kind of school environment to learn basic socialization and even 10 hours of preschool, as many of you well know, can cost you $15-20 per hour. Add on a full time nanny and you have a recipe for bankruptcy. So we decided that instead of the shorter programs that we'd go full on into full day programs and let our longtime well loved babysitter go. It has been a difficult and emotional change for everyone. But even after three days I think we all agree that we made the right decision.
Thing 1 started in school last Wednesday. We like his teacher. He comes home every day saying that he has made new friends, but he doesn't know the children's names. Thing 1 is slow to warm up. The very first day when the teacher called them to come to circle time all the children made a circle and Thing 1 sat on the outside. That's him. Even at 10 months old he was moving in the opposite direction of the crowd. He just takes his time to get into the middle of things. But he tells us that he likes his school and for that I am grateful.
Thing 2 has been less happy about the turn of events. This poor second child has always gotten hand-me-down everything, including hand-me-down attention from parents and caregivers. So just when he stood to have lavishly long days of one on one solo care we decide to stick him in a chaotic school environment with a dozen other children and half as many caregivers. Let's just say he wasn't thrilled. Day one was a true nightmare where he cried all day, did not nap and did not eat. I blame myself (as per usual) for not preparing him more. I am not sure I even told him about his new daytime routine until the day before, and even that was spotty communication. I spent the entire summer preparing Thing 1 for his new school. I trust that in a couple weeks he will fall into line. Even on day two he ate and took a nap with the other children-a HUGE improvement from our puffy red-eyed first day!
School food was something I also hemmed and hawed about. Both the daycare and the school told me that both breakfast and lunch was included in the tuition costs. Great...except that I know a little too much about school food. It was hard enough to have a daily babysitter plying my kid with treats. At least, of all the junky snacks I know my kids were getting, our baby sitter cooked meals from scratch for the kids and even brought home-prepared food in to share with them. School food is an altogether different thing! All summer I weighed our options, do we opt in? Or do I pack a lunch for them?
A week or so before school started I noted in the parent's handbook that the school lunch program followed the Catholic Diocese's Nutrition Program, whatever that means. I figured it was basic My Pyramid, (sorry.....) My Plate, kind of stuff. But I was stressed about all my new food responsibilities, so I was willing to let him eat at school. Several schools have good food programs!
So two weeks ago I called the school and asked, what was the menu like? Could parents access upcoming items? I was told that children needed a note from their child's pediatrician in order to opt out of the program. And that the note needed to cite allergies or some other medical reason. In response to my questions about the menu I received a voicemail from the principal saying that the offering was pretty standard, "It includes a protein and vegetable and a starch and typical meals are like pizza, chicken nuggets or cheeseburgers." That was pretty much all I needed to hear to know that I was opting out.
For Thing 2 I took a different approach. He doesn't eat. And now he isn't even eating hot dogs (bun only now-a-days) So I am down to fresh fruits, milk and juice, anything in the wheat family and turkey sausage. Oh and if he could he would eat as many French fries, potato chips or other junky foods that he could get his hands on. I am pretty sure I have a future food hoarder on my hands. I decided that given his pickiness that he could benefit from a room full of kids all eating the same thing. It might to help him to branch out. And it isn't like I know what he wants to eat anyway. Much of my packed lunches would likely go to waste anyway.
Thing 1 has been doing okay with the packed lunches. But a curious pattern has begun to emerge. The first day of school he ate just about everything from both his breakfast and his lunch. But he told me that in addition to the oatmeal that I packed him that he had the juice and pancakes that the school served. For lunch he just ate his home food. Okay...And then last Friday he ate the school's offering for lunch, 'square cheese' sandwiches with chips (CHIPS???) and a plum. On top of their lunch he ate about half of the lunch I provided. For breakfast he just ate what I provided. He seems to be double dipping when he is hungry, which I am surprisingly okay about. I want him to make his own decisions. It is clear that he doesn't want to fess up about what he has been eating. After a couple of years of me on my health kick he knows that I am the food gestapo of the house. And that makes me a little sad. I keep telling him that mommy won't be mad if he eats the school food, but would he please just tell me what he ate? It usually takes that promise to get him to come clean. The dialogue now becomes about how and WHY to make good food choices. I don't want to swoop in and force him to eat carrots and hummus. I want him to come to that conclusion on his own. That's how he becomes a functioning healthy adult.
But he is FOUR. It is hard for him to make good food choices. And there is something else besides simple menu offering that I NEVER thought about, peer pressure. The very first day I packed Thing 1 breakfast I made a smoothie and a bowl of oatmeal with raisins. He ate everything. But just before bed he told me out of the blue that the kids at school said his smoothies looked gross. He said they told him not to drink it. (Okay okay, I snuck some kale in there, so sue me-it's not like he could taste it!!!!) So I swallowed hard and asked what he thought of the smoothie. He said it was good and that he drank the whole thing. So I said okay, what do those kids know anyway? I went on to say that it was a good thing that they thought it was gross because then he wouldn't have to share any of it. I said to him 'If you had been holding a bag of cookies, they each would have asked you for one.' That made sense to him.
I know this is going to be hard. This is the first time that he has been exposed to peer pressure. This is the first time he has had to eat meals outside of his house every day. He is going to begin to see how other people live. It is an opportunity for me to explain why I make the decisions that I do. My greatest hope is that he comes home and tells me the food I pack for him is so much more delicious than the processed food he could get at school. My greatest fear is that he will come home and tell me that the kids are making fun of him because he is eating too healthy. Food shouldn't be an opportunity to alienate people. But then again, adults at my own office have been known to make a little fun of me because of my choice of grub. I see him trying to sort out all this information to find out where he belongs and where he wants to belong. As much as I want to intervene, the decision is his to make.
As I mentioned, Thing 2 did not eat his first day of school, except for some pear I had sent with him. The second day he did better. I imagine it will get slightly better each day. Until then I am going to make him breakfast in the morning before we leave. I can fry up some green eggs, soaked pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal. Anything to get some good nutrition into him before he goes to daycare and refuses to eat. Then he will get dinner in the evening. Anything in-between 7am and 6pm is gravy.
The transition has been tough. My flow has been completely turned upside down. But each day I am learning more tricks, and in another month I am sure I will have established a routine. Stay tuned for some tips about how to get out the door on time with everybody packed with food they like!
What tips and tricks do you have for packing lunches?
This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays and Fight Back Fridays
Thing 1 started in school last Wednesday. We like his teacher. He comes home every day saying that he has made new friends, but he doesn't know the children's names. Thing 1 is slow to warm up. The very first day when the teacher called them to come to circle time all the children made a circle and Thing 1 sat on the outside. That's him. Even at 10 months old he was moving in the opposite direction of the crowd. He just takes his time to get into the middle of things. But he tells us that he likes his school and for that I am grateful.
Thing 2 has been less happy about the turn of events. This poor second child has always gotten hand-me-down everything, including hand-me-down attention from parents and caregivers. So just when he stood to have lavishly long days of one on one solo care we decide to stick him in a chaotic school environment with a dozen other children and half as many caregivers. Let's just say he wasn't thrilled. Day one was a true nightmare where he cried all day, did not nap and did not eat. I blame myself (as per usual) for not preparing him more. I am not sure I even told him about his new daytime routine until the day before, and even that was spotty communication. I spent the entire summer preparing Thing 1 for his new school. I trust that in a couple weeks he will fall into line. Even on day two he ate and took a nap with the other children-a HUGE improvement from our puffy red-eyed first day!
School food was something I also hemmed and hawed about. Both the daycare and the school told me that both breakfast and lunch was included in the tuition costs. Great...except that I know a little too much about school food. It was hard enough to have a daily babysitter plying my kid with treats. At least, of all the junky snacks I know my kids were getting, our baby sitter cooked meals from scratch for the kids and even brought home-prepared food in to share with them. School food is an altogether different thing! All summer I weighed our options, do we opt in? Or do I pack a lunch for them?
A week or so before school started I noted in the parent's handbook that the school lunch program followed the Catholic Diocese's Nutrition Program, whatever that means. I figured it was basic My Pyramid, (sorry.....) My Plate, kind of stuff. But I was stressed about all my new food responsibilities, so I was willing to let him eat at school. Several schools have good food programs!
So two weeks ago I called the school and asked, what was the menu like? Could parents access upcoming items? I was told that children needed a note from their child's pediatrician in order to opt out of the program. And that the note needed to cite allergies or some other medical reason. In response to my questions about the menu I received a voicemail from the principal saying that the offering was pretty standard, "It includes a protein and vegetable and a starch and typical meals are like pizza, chicken nuggets or cheeseburgers." That was pretty much all I needed to hear to know that I was opting out.
For Thing 2 I took a different approach. He doesn't eat. And now he isn't even eating hot dogs (bun only now-a-days) So I am down to fresh fruits, milk and juice, anything in the wheat family and turkey sausage. Oh and if he could he would eat as many French fries, potato chips or other junky foods that he could get his hands on. I am pretty sure I have a future food hoarder on my hands. I decided that given his pickiness that he could benefit from a room full of kids all eating the same thing. It might to help him to branch out. And it isn't like I know what he wants to eat anyway. Much of my packed lunches would likely go to waste anyway.
Thing 1 has been doing okay with the packed lunches. But a curious pattern has begun to emerge. The first day of school he ate just about everything from both his breakfast and his lunch. But he told me that in addition to the oatmeal that I packed him that he had the juice and pancakes that the school served. For lunch he just ate his home food. Okay...And then last Friday he ate the school's offering for lunch, 'square cheese' sandwiches with chips (CHIPS???) and a plum. On top of their lunch he ate about half of the lunch I provided. For breakfast he just ate what I provided. He seems to be double dipping when he is hungry, which I am surprisingly okay about. I want him to make his own decisions. It is clear that he doesn't want to fess up about what he has been eating. After a couple of years of me on my health kick he knows that I am the food gestapo of the house. And that makes me a little sad. I keep telling him that mommy won't be mad if he eats the school food, but would he please just tell me what he ate? It usually takes that promise to get him to come clean. The dialogue now becomes about how and WHY to make good food choices. I don't want to swoop in and force him to eat carrots and hummus. I want him to come to that conclusion on his own. That's how he becomes a functioning healthy adult.
But he is FOUR. It is hard for him to make good food choices. And there is something else besides simple menu offering that I NEVER thought about, peer pressure. The very first day I packed Thing 1 breakfast I made a smoothie and a bowl of oatmeal with raisins. He ate everything. But just before bed he told me out of the blue that the kids at school said his smoothies looked gross. He said they told him not to drink it. (Okay okay, I snuck some kale in there, so sue me-it's not like he could taste it!!!!) So I swallowed hard and asked what he thought of the smoothie. He said it was good and that he drank the whole thing. So I said okay, what do those kids know anyway? I went on to say that it was a good thing that they thought it was gross because then he wouldn't have to share any of it. I said to him 'If you had been holding a bag of cookies, they each would have asked you for one.' That made sense to him.
I know this is going to be hard. This is the first time that he has been exposed to peer pressure. This is the first time he has had to eat meals outside of his house every day. He is going to begin to see how other people live. It is an opportunity for me to explain why I make the decisions that I do. My greatest hope is that he comes home and tells me the food I pack for him is so much more delicious than the processed food he could get at school. My greatest fear is that he will come home and tell me that the kids are making fun of him because he is eating too healthy. Food shouldn't be an opportunity to alienate people. But then again, adults at my own office have been known to make a little fun of me because of my choice of grub. I see him trying to sort out all this information to find out where he belongs and where he wants to belong. As much as I want to intervene, the decision is his to make.
As I mentioned, Thing 2 did not eat his first day of school, except for some pear I had sent with him. The second day he did better. I imagine it will get slightly better each day. Until then I am going to make him breakfast in the morning before we leave. I can fry up some green eggs, soaked pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal. Anything to get some good nutrition into him before he goes to daycare and refuses to eat. Then he will get dinner in the evening. Anything in-between 7am and 6pm is gravy.
The transition has been tough. My flow has been completely turned upside down. But each day I am learning more tricks, and in another month I am sure I will have established a routine. Stay tuned for some tips about how to get out the door on time with everybody packed with food they like!
What tips and tricks do you have for packing lunches?
This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays and Fight Back Fridays
22 Agustus 2011
Whaddya Do When Your Kid Doesn't Eat?
I keep looking over my shoulder. Because I have been here before.
When Thing 1 was born I got an epidural, much to my disappointment. He came out groggy and lethargic. He had trouble latching. I had trouble keeping him awake for feedings. He slept so much, but only when I had things to do. Whenever I laid down to rest with him he would wake up and howl.
I made every mistake in the book with Thing 1. I tried keeping him on a schedule, rather than nursing on demand. I introduced the bottle too soon. I gave supplemental bottles too often. Nursing and working and pumping all day were really hard. Like evil awful terrible hard. But to my amazement my kid who was always in the 40th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height ate solids pretty well. And when he transitioned to table foods he would eat broccoli and corn and even spinach in his 'baby soup', just not much at all, sometimes only 3-4 bites.
When I got pregnant with Thing 2, working and caring for my older son became a true challenge. I was wrecked and pulled in a million different directions. I started relying a little more heavily on the hormone free chicken nuggets and the nitrate free hot dogs and the organic frozen pizzas. Thing 1 was never a GREAT eater. But serving him these processed foods made me feel like I was getting something into him. He didn't like soft mashed foods, he didn't like meat if it was too grainy, certain vegetables he flat out refused. Every meal time was a difficulty. He would refuse to feed himself. He cried and thrashed so badly that we kept him strapped into a high chair until he was three. But I blamed myself. 'If I had offered him better foods he would be eating kale and roasted chicken and sweet potatoes. I served him junk and so he eats junk' I told myself. But being a pregnant mommy, working full time and then bringing home another baby two days after Thing 1's second birthday proved too much stress. I didn't have the energy to clean up our food act.
It wasn't until much later, when Thing 2 started table foods, thatI realized we needed to make a change. I didn't want to give my 9 month old processed foods. That is when I started the blog. I didn't (and still don't) plan on getting pregnant again and so I was sure that I could keep Thing 2 on a straight and narrow food path.
I am pleased to say that I delivered Thing 2 without the aid of an epidural. I really got the birth that I had wanted, the birth I was unprepared and uneducated to perform the first time around. Thing 2 came out super fat, 10 days before his due date and 9 pounds 3 ounces. He, naturally, came out hungry and latched on right away in the delivery room. Our time in the hospital together was almost like being at a hotel. The staff was supportive and friendly. And I just nursed around the clock with the confidence of a mom who'd been around the block before.
Thing 2 was a fantastic nurser. He maneuvered between the breast and the bottle effortlessly. Pumping at work proved to be no problem. And unlike when Thing 1 was born I had no supply problems. When he switched to solid foods he ate like a champ. And even the switch to solid foods was easy. He ate everything and in such great quantities! Mashed avocado, bananas, beans and rice, finely chopped poultry, mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes, all fruits. I never had a shortage of things to feed him. I could always take one or two of the elements of our dinner and put something nutritious together for him. And when he started to feed himself he ate most of the same things, but loved my cumin patties and he never minded when I slipped kale into his smoothies. I noticed early on that he wasn't crazy about vegetables and he flat out refused the baby soup. But his love of fruits and berries was good enough for me. What a good mother I was to my good eater! He had favorites and would stuff himself on those items, Thing 1 was never like that. Even with his favorite foods he would never just eat for the sake of eating.
Then it happened, one day right around the time that Thing 2 was 18 months old. He just stopped eating. Ironically it was around the same time that Thing 1 started eating more rationally. So I had the sense that there would be some difficult times even for my good eater. I gritted my teeth, but did things slightly differently.
1-I didn't force him to eat. I figured that if he was hungry he would eat. Unfortunately our babysitter often fills him up with snacks in the late afternoon, even though I have discussed my concerns with her. She agrees but bad habits die hard. And anyone who works knows that a problem with snacks is no reason to fire or reprimand a long time babysitter who truly loves your kids and whom your kids truly love. Besides, he doesn't eat lunch for her and she has a hard time just letting him go hungry.
2-No time outs for food related offenses. It was obvious (to at least me) that Thing 1's issues were behavior related, not food related. He would get time outs for throwing food or purposefully spilling his glass of milk, for example. He would act out with his food. Thing 2 never did any of those things. He just doesn't eat. Even in my most stressful moments I didn't feel like it was right to punish him for not eating.
3-I didn't force him to stay in the high chair. At a certain point he refused to stay strapped into his chair. And so we just got rid of it. The month afterwards was hard. He ran all over the house and still wouldn't eat. I spent more time out of my chair than in it. But that's getting better now.
4-No special dinners. That one goes without saying. I believe that everyone in the family should have the same dinner, but there should be elements in each meal that appeal to each of the different diners. I try to make sure that there are nutritious things on each person's plate that each one will like and eat, even if it isn't everything that is served.
But even with some of these common sense measures, the kid just doesn't eat. And the list of things he will eat is awfully short. Today he will eat hot dogs (the ones I get are from a biodynamic organic local farm), turkey sausage, all whole fruits except blueberries and honeydew melon for some reason, and wheat in general. He will sometimes tolerate Greek yogurt, hummus, nitrate free deli meat and pasta sauces, but those are hot and cold. Oh! And milk. He would drink milk instead of eating all day if he could. This prompted me to think that maybe he was drinking too much milk. So I moved away from sippy cups to straw cups, now he won't always finish his milk. He doesn't always accept the straw cups. And I started reducing the number of ounces he gets in a day. He drinks between 12-14 ounces of milk in a day, so I highly doubt that he is drowning his appetite.And now it is getting worse. His eating habits now seem preferential and purposeful. It doesn't seem to matter if he is hungry, he simply will not eat what he doesn't care for. Last week he ate breakfast, no lunch and no snack and I caved and made his favorite turkey sausage for dinner. He was ravenous. Had I made something else he would have probably gone to bed hungry.
Thing 2 is not unhealthy. His weight is good, so I am not worried about that. Though he has thinned out alot in the last few months as a result of a growth spurt and eating less. But he eats zero vegetables that haven't been pureed and hidden in something and he seems so picky that I am nervous about building good eating habits. I thought I had done everything right. I didn't get lazy and serve him lousy food. But now my weekly dinner rotation is a painful 4 or 5 dishes that I know he'll eat, so I feel stuck in the same rut I was with Thing 1. I don't think it is fair to serve him summer squash and swiss chard pizza with feta cheese when I know he will just starve for the night.
Fortunately though, he always eats breakfast. He will eat my 'green eggs' even if I load them with kale and onions. He always finishes his overnight pancakes. Oatmeal is a fav too. French toast is also a big hit. Usually even if he hasn't eaten in 18 hours I know I can get some protein and fat into him during breakfast.
So my conclusions? Maybe I wasn't to blame for Thing 1's poor eating habits. I did my best by him and got through a particularly stressful time in our lives. I kept him fed and served him mostly good pastured meats. So even though he had a love affair with turkey Bologna, maybe it is time that I stop blaming myself. And again with Thing 1, he eats veggies really well. Today we have moved forward from his standard broccoli and corn. He eats green beans, celery, cucumbers and carrots. He still likes the 'baby soup', and eats whatever I throw into that. Now though I make the broth with pastured chicken feet and he adores it. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up over his food transgressions, but perhaps I also cannot take credit for his good eating habits. I am simply the cook. I make the food and he chooses what to eat. Perhaps no parent should pat themselves on the back for having 'good eaters', because it isn't really up to you at all. Besides is such a distinction fair to a parent like me who bore such lousy eaters, even though I cook like mad and model such good behavior for my children?
Thing 2 is so young, it is frustrating to see him struggle with eating. It really upsets me to see him refuse foods that I know he used to love. I worry that this is truly who he is. I worry that he will not follow the same pattern as his brother and just work his way out of this. I worry I will be fighting over vegetable consumption for the next 16 years. I get so irritable that he prefers one plate or cup over another. I get so irritable that his choices seem so random. But perhaps it really has nothing to do with me. Dear Lord, please help me to breathe today.
This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Fight Back Fridays
When Thing 1 was born I got an epidural, much to my disappointment. He came out groggy and lethargic. He had trouble latching. I had trouble keeping him awake for feedings. He slept so much, but only when I had things to do. Whenever I laid down to rest with him he would wake up and howl.
I made every mistake in the book with Thing 1. I tried keeping him on a schedule, rather than nursing on demand. I introduced the bottle too soon. I gave supplemental bottles too often. Nursing and working and pumping all day were really hard. Like evil awful terrible hard. But to my amazement my kid who was always in the 40th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height ate solids pretty well. And when he transitioned to table foods he would eat broccoli and corn and even spinach in his 'baby soup', just not much at all, sometimes only 3-4 bites.
When I got pregnant with Thing 2, working and caring for my older son became a true challenge. I was wrecked and pulled in a million different directions. I started relying a little more heavily on the hormone free chicken nuggets and the nitrate free hot dogs and the organic frozen pizzas. Thing 1 was never a GREAT eater. But serving him these processed foods made me feel like I was getting something into him. He didn't like soft mashed foods, he didn't like meat if it was too grainy, certain vegetables he flat out refused. Every meal time was a difficulty. He would refuse to feed himself. He cried and thrashed so badly that we kept him strapped into a high chair until he was three. But I blamed myself. 'If I had offered him better foods he would be eating kale and roasted chicken and sweet potatoes. I served him junk and so he eats junk' I told myself. But being a pregnant mommy, working full time and then bringing home another baby two days after Thing 1's second birthday proved too much stress. I didn't have the energy to clean up our food act.
It wasn't until much later, when Thing 2 started table foods, thatI realized we needed to make a change. I didn't want to give my 9 month old processed foods. That is when I started the blog. I didn't (and still don't) plan on getting pregnant again and so I was sure that I could keep Thing 2 on a straight and narrow food path.
I am pleased to say that I delivered Thing 2 without the aid of an epidural. I really got the birth that I had wanted, the birth I was unprepared and uneducated to perform the first time around. Thing 2 came out super fat, 10 days before his due date and 9 pounds 3 ounces. He, naturally, came out hungry and latched on right away in the delivery room. Our time in the hospital together was almost like being at a hotel. The staff was supportive and friendly. And I just nursed around the clock with the confidence of a mom who'd been around the block before.
Thing 2 was a fantastic nurser. He maneuvered between the breast and the bottle effortlessly. Pumping at work proved to be no problem. And unlike when Thing 1 was born I had no supply problems. When he switched to solid foods he ate like a champ. And even the switch to solid foods was easy. He ate everything and in such great quantities! Mashed avocado, bananas, beans and rice, finely chopped poultry, mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes, all fruits. I never had a shortage of things to feed him. I could always take one or two of the elements of our dinner and put something nutritious together for him. And when he started to feed himself he ate most of the same things, but loved my cumin patties and he never minded when I slipped kale into his smoothies. I noticed early on that he wasn't crazy about vegetables and he flat out refused the baby soup. But his love of fruits and berries was good enough for me. What a good mother I was to my good eater! He had favorites and would stuff himself on those items, Thing 1 was never like that. Even with his favorite foods he would never just eat for the sake of eating.
Then it happened, one day right around the time that Thing 2 was 18 months old. He just stopped eating. Ironically it was around the same time that Thing 1 started eating more rationally. So I had the sense that there would be some difficult times even for my good eater. I gritted my teeth, but did things slightly differently.
1-I didn't force him to eat. I figured that if he was hungry he would eat. Unfortunately our babysitter often fills him up with snacks in the late afternoon, even though I have discussed my concerns with her. She agrees but bad habits die hard. And anyone who works knows that a problem with snacks is no reason to fire or reprimand a long time babysitter who truly loves your kids and whom your kids truly love. Besides, he doesn't eat lunch for her and she has a hard time just letting him go hungry.
2-No time outs for food related offenses. It was obvious (to at least me) that Thing 1's issues were behavior related, not food related. He would get time outs for throwing food or purposefully spilling his glass of milk, for example. He would act out with his food. Thing 2 never did any of those things. He just doesn't eat. Even in my most stressful moments I didn't feel like it was right to punish him for not eating.
3-I didn't force him to stay in the high chair. At a certain point he refused to stay strapped into his chair. And so we just got rid of it. The month afterwards was hard. He ran all over the house and still wouldn't eat. I spent more time out of my chair than in it. But that's getting better now.
4-No special dinners. That one goes without saying. I believe that everyone in the family should have the same dinner, but there should be elements in each meal that appeal to each of the different diners. I try to make sure that there are nutritious things on each person's plate that each one will like and eat, even if it isn't everything that is served.
But even with some of these common sense measures, the kid just doesn't eat. And the list of things he will eat is awfully short. Today he will eat hot dogs (the ones I get are from a biodynamic organic local farm), turkey sausage, all whole fruits except blueberries and honeydew melon for some reason, and wheat in general. He will sometimes tolerate Greek yogurt, hummus, nitrate free deli meat and pasta sauces, but those are hot and cold. Oh! And milk. He would drink milk instead of eating all day if he could. This prompted me to think that maybe he was drinking too much milk. So I moved away from sippy cups to straw cups, now he won't always finish his milk. He doesn't always accept the straw cups. And I started reducing the number of ounces he gets in a day. He drinks between 12-14 ounces of milk in a day, so I highly doubt that he is drowning his appetite.And now it is getting worse. His eating habits now seem preferential and purposeful. It doesn't seem to matter if he is hungry, he simply will not eat what he doesn't care for. Last week he ate breakfast, no lunch and no snack and I caved and made his favorite turkey sausage for dinner. He was ravenous. Had I made something else he would have probably gone to bed hungry.
Thing 2 is not unhealthy. His weight is good, so I am not worried about that. Though he has thinned out alot in the last few months as a result of a growth spurt and eating less. But he eats zero vegetables that haven't been pureed and hidden in something and he seems so picky that I am nervous about building good eating habits. I thought I had done everything right. I didn't get lazy and serve him lousy food. But now my weekly dinner rotation is a painful 4 or 5 dishes that I know he'll eat, so I feel stuck in the same rut I was with Thing 1. I don't think it is fair to serve him summer squash and swiss chard pizza with feta cheese when I know he will just starve for the night.
Fortunately though, he always eats breakfast. He will eat my 'green eggs' even if I load them with kale and onions. He always finishes his overnight pancakes. Oatmeal is a fav too. French toast is also a big hit. Usually even if he hasn't eaten in 18 hours I know I can get some protein and fat into him during breakfast.
So my conclusions? Maybe I wasn't to blame for Thing 1's poor eating habits. I did my best by him and got through a particularly stressful time in our lives. I kept him fed and served him mostly good pastured meats. So even though he had a love affair with turkey Bologna, maybe it is time that I stop blaming myself. And again with Thing 1, he eats veggies really well. Today we have moved forward from his standard broccoli and corn. He eats green beans, celery, cucumbers and carrots. He still likes the 'baby soup', and eats whatever I throw into that. Now though I make the broth with pastured chicken feet and he adores it. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up over his food transgressions, but perhaps I also cannot take credit for his good eating habits. I am simply the cook. I make the food and he chooses what to eat. Perhaps no parent should pat themselves on the back for having 'good eaters', because it isn't really up to you at all. Besides is such a distinction fair to a parent like me who bore such lousy eaters, even though I cook like mad and model such good behavior for my children?
Thing 2 is so young, it is frustrating to see him struggle with eating. It really upsets me to see him refuse foods that I know he used to love. I worry that this is truly who he is. I worry that he will not follow the same pattern as his brother and just work his way out of this. I worry I will be fighting over vegetable consumption for the next 16 years. I get so irritable that he prefers one plate or cup over another. I get so irritable that his choices seem so random. But perhaps it really has nothing to do with me. Dear Lord, please help me to breathe today.
This post is shared with Traditional Tuesdays and Real Food Wednesdays and Fight Back Fridays
25 Juli 2011
'Pocahontas' Is a Fairly Decent Movie If You Are a Naturalist, Not a Historian...Or a Feminist
Last Friday I had the pleasure of staying home with my kids. We had nothing special planned, I took Thing 1 to school, made a short run downtown with Thing 2 and managed to still observe our Nanny's beloved 'Pizza Fridays'. You know, a normal weekday.
As a working parent I love being home for these normal days. I don't like the idea of disrupting my kids lives just because I get a day off work. I rather like the idea of coming in and doing exactly what they would expect on a Thursday or a Monday. I often (when needed) stay home when our nanny is sick or when we are snowed in and I don't try to schedule in trips to cool stores or museum visits all the time. Sometimes we do that kind of stuff, but mostly I like to stay around the neighborhood and hang out at the playgrounds and run into the friends that they would have seen anyway. I guess it makes me feel closer to them knowing all the things that are familiar about their day.
Last Friday however it was 103 degrees!!!! Jesus, Mary and Joseph it was the hottest day I can remember not being in air conditioning in all of my adult life. We have AC in our apartment, but I was out running errands, etc. Before around 11 it was still in the nineties and we actually felt okay. But by Noon it had definitely cracked 100 and I said to Thing 2 "We should take the bus to pick up your brother, rather than walk the 10 blocks there and 10 blocks back.' Thing 2 was SO excited. He pratically ran to the bus stop saying 'Dus, dus, dus, dus, dus" the whole way. This kid loves transportation.
The ride there was lovely, 4 minutes long, awesome. Going home was a different matter. We waited for the bus in 103 degree (or more) heat for 25 minutes!! I wish numbers came with capital letters, because I want to be more emphatic than that. TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!!! The kids were freaking (so was I) and by the time I got on the bus we all three of us were red faced, dehydrated and ready for a nap. It is funny how only one of us actually got a nap though.
Since the heat was so harrowing I decided to forgo any trips out of the house in the afternoon and I hatched a plan to watch a movie. Now I know many parents who wouldn't find this such a revolutionary idea. But DH works in the film and TV industry (trust me, it isn't a glamourous job at all, it is more of a 5am to 10pm, dealing with angry teamsters kind of a job) and he would like nothing more than to watch a full length animated feature with his two sons. But after 20 minutes Thing 1 is taking the cushions off the couch and building a trampoline while Thing 2 is screaming nonsensical jibberish at his trains because he cannot hook them up and get them to stay hooked up. While the kids have been successful in watching one 70 minute animated movie (once), it isn't like we just pop in a DVD all the time and let the boob tube babysit them. If my kids would sit still on the couch and drool while watching TV it is likely that I would just keep the idiot box on for like 6 hours in a row. But they don't. They climb the bookshelves and hit each other and scream at us, so we use it for short(ish) intervals only. Though folks I fully admit that they do get more than the 2 recommended hours a day, virtually every day. We just break it up throughout the day.
But given the heat I thought a movie might be in order. Though Thing 1 protested, I selected 'Pochahontas'. I noticed that there was a preview option. I played the 90 second scene amidst many protests. It was some John Smith and Pocahantas scene designed to hook a five year old little girl, and afterwards Thing 1 was begging to watch the movie. And we did. Well, all except for a pivitol scene when the kids got interested in their toys. Thing 1 and I were both very confused about why he returned to London injured as we didn't remember a battle scene. Anyhow, we loved the movie. But the take home for me was different than I had expected.
I had never seen the movie all the way through. I think I was in junior high maybe when Pocahontas came out? I was definitely not young enough to have been motivated to see it in the theatres but that damn Vanessa Williams song still played on all the radio stations. When I was younger the phrase "You can own the earth and still all you own is earth until, you can paint with all the colors of the wind' stirred up images of walking through the woods and being in tune with nature, respecting wilderness, seeing animals. I imagined wild places where humans don't live, as though there was a difference between these preserved places and the streets and suburbs where humanity reigns. Today I hear this phrase and it is clear to me that the Earth all around us, wherever we are, is alive. The dirt is a mix of microscopic animals and bacteria and tiny plants and fungus that all contribute to the life which grows from it, both the plants directly and indirectly the animlas that eat the plants. Even in the completely tamed city and the mostly tamed suburbs, we are so much more a part of the life cycle than we know. Being in tune with nature isn't about cleaning up your campsite and making sure you don't smoke in a forest (though both of those things are good ideas). It is aabout understanding the connection that we all have with the Earth. And I also believe it is about eating plants and animals raised in a natural, ethical way with farming that focuses on zero waste. The health of the land is paramount.
The whole movie just struck me. The White people were painted as such savages, tearing down trees and uprooting the land, not to mention killing first. And while the natives were clearly mroe adapted to the land (for obvious reasons), Disney also made them out to be looking for a battle, so I didn't feel like the story was set up to shame white people while being inaccurate. The dipiction of the conflict seemed fairly accurate. I found it an easy way to start to talk to Thing 1 about race and to introduce the phrase 'white people'. While I have started to talk to him about race, I am admittedly uncomfortable with the color terminology. While in my "enlightened mind" I think he should identify himself as Irish of German or American, really on every form he will ever fill out, Thing 1 is just 'white'. He might as well hear the phrase from me, right?
But what points Pocahontas wins in art style it loses in overall historical accuracy and female objectification. Seriously? Pocahontas is a brick house! She looks like a ridiculously good looking barbie doll and completely and bizarrely mismatched with her more normal looking relatives and friends. Pocahontas's breasts are in fact so large (with cleavage showing out of her one shoulder dress) that I questioned did her look offend the modern day Powhatan Tribe? My guess is yes. And with the terribly short hem to her dress and seams cut up the sides, the effect was much like she was wearing a men's shirt for a dress. She is drawn to be very sexy, but I am uncomfortable by this tiresome image of female sexuality. I beat myself up over weighing 142 pounds yet even our f*#@ing kids movies show us that all the females of value to society are 36-24-36. Our four year olds, both boys and girls, are programmed to think this is what adult women look like. Sorry, most models are freaks of natures. They are beautiful genetic abnormalities that are airbrushed like crazy while the rest of us suck down diet pills and run on treadmills until we pass out to emulate their looks.
And the real story of Pocahontas is completely different. In this article published on the website of the Powhatan tribe, they claim the the story that Pocahontas saved John Smith from being beaten to death by her own people was a complete false hood. In fact she married a different, John Rolfe. And she married him only as a condition of her RELEASE. You see she was being held captive in the Jamestown colony. in 1616 she traveled to London and served as propaganda to support the colony's interests at home. But she became ill on the voyage and died in Gravesend. Her grave was destroyed when the church where she was buried was reconstructed.
So you see, I have some issues with the movie. But I was happy to avoid the heat last week. Maybe next time I will pop on The Secret of NIMH (a personal favorite) or The Wizard of Oz (an ALL TIME personal favorite). I don't think I am going to be pushing Pocahontas as a repeated favorite.
As a working parent I love being home for these normal days. I don't like the idea of disrupting my kids lives just because I get a day off work. I rather like the idea of coming in and doing exactly what they would expect on a Thursday or a Monday. I often (when needed) stay home when our nanny is sick or when we are snowed in and I don't try to schedule in trips to cool stores or museum visits all the time. Sometimes we do that kind of stuff, but mostly I like to stay around the neighborhood and hang out at the playgrounds and run into the friends that they would have seen anyway. I guess it makes me feel closer to them knowing all the things that are familiar about their day.
Last Friday however it was 103 degrees!!!! Jesus, Mary and Joseph it was the hottest day I can remember not being in air conditioning in all of my adult life. We have AC in our apartment, but I was out running errands, etc. Before around 11 it was still in the nineties and we actually felt okay. But by Noon it had definitely cracked 100 and I said to Thing 2 "We should take the bus to pick up your brother, rather than walk the 10 blocks there and 10 blocks back.' Thing 2 was SO excited. He pratically ran to the bus stop saying 'Dus, dus, dus, dus, dus" the whole way. This kid loves transportation.
The ride there was lovely, 4 minutes long, awesome. Going home was a different matter. We waited for the bus in 103 degree (or more) heat for 25 minutes!! I wish numbers came with capital letters, because I want to be more emphatic than that. TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!!! The kids were freaking (so was I) and by the time I got on the bus we all three of us were red faced, dehydrated and ready for a nap. It is funny how only one of us actually got a nap though.
Since the heat was so harrowing I decided to forgo any trips out of the house in the afternoon and I hatched a plan to watch a movie. Now I know many parents who wouldn't find this such a revolutionary idea. But DH works in the film and TV industry (trust me, it isn't a glamourous job at all, it is more of a 5am to 10pm, dealing with angry teamsters kind of a job) and he would like nothing more than to watch a full length animated feature with his two sons. But after 20 minutes Thing 1 is taking the cushions off the couch and building a trampoline while Thing 2 is screaming nonsensical jibberish at his trains because he cannot hook them up and get them to stay hooked up. While the kids have been successful in watching one 70 minute animated movie (once), it isn't like we just pop in a DVD all the time and let the boob tube babysit them. If my kids would sit still on the couch and drool while watching TV it is likely that I would just keep the idiot box on for like 6 hours in a row. But they don't. They climb the bookshelves and hit each other and scream at us, so we use it for short(ish) intervals only. Though folks I fully admit that they do get more than the 2 recommended hours a day, virtually every day. We just break it up throughout the day.
But given the heat I thought a movie might be in order. Though Thing 1 protested, I selected 'Pochahontas'. I noticed that there was a preview option. I played the 90 second scene amidst many protests. It was some John Smith and Pocahantas scene designed to hook a five year old little girl, and afterwards Thing 1 was begging to watch the movie. And we did. Well, all except for a pivitol scene when the kids got interested in their toys. Thing 1 and I were both very confused about why he returned to London injured as we didn't remember a battle scene. Anyhow, we loved the movie. But the take home for me was different than I had expected.
I had never seen the movie all the way through. I think I was in junior high maybe when Pocahontas came out? I was definitely not young enough to have been motivated to see it in the theatres but that damn Vanessa Williams song still played on all the radio stations. When I was younger the phrase "You can own the earth and still all you own is earth until, you can paint with all the colors of the wind' stirred up images of walking through the woods and being in tune with nature, respecting wilderness, seeing animals. I imagined wild places where humans don't live, as though there was a difference between these preserved places and the streets and suburbs where humanity reigns. Today I hear this phrase and it is clear to me that the Earth all around us, wherever we are, is alive. The dirt is a mix of microscopic animals and bacteria and tiny plants and fungus that all contribute to the life which grows from it, both the plants directly and indirectly the animlas that eat the plants. Even in the completely tamed city and the mostly tamed suburbs, we are so much more a part of the life cycle than we know. Being in tune with nature isn't about cleaning up your campsite and making sure you don't smoke in a forest (though both of those things are good ideas). It is aabout understanding the connection that we all have with the Earth. And I also believe it is about eating plants and animals raised in a natural, ethical way with farming that focuses on zero waste. The health of the land is paramount.
The whole movie just struck me. The White people were painted as such savages, tearing down trees and uprooting the land, not to mention killing first. And while the natives were clearly mroe adapted to the land (for obvious reasons), Disney also made them out to be looking for a battle, so I didn't feel like the story was set up to shame white people while being inaccurate. The dipiction of the conflict seemed fairly accurate. I found it an easy way to start to talk to Thing 1 about race and to introduce the phrase 'white people'. While I have started to talk to him about race, I am admittedly uncomfortable with the color terminology. While in my "enlightened mind" I think he should identify himself as Irish of German or American, really on every form he will ever fill out, Thing 1 is just 'white'. He might as well hear the phrase from me, right?
But what points Pocahontas wins in art style it loses in overall historical accuracy and female objectification. Seriously? Pocahontas is a brick house! She looks like a ridiculously good looking barbie doll and completely and bizarrely mismatched with her more normal looking relatives and friends. Pocahontas's breasts are in fact so large (with cleavage showing out of her one shoulder dress) that I questioned did her look offend the modern day Powhatan Tribe? My guess is yes. And with the terribly short hem to her dress and seams cut up the sides, the effect was much like she was wearing a men's shirt for a dress. She is drawn to be very sexy, but I am uncomfortable by this tiresome image of female sexuality. I beat myself up over weighing 142 pounds yet even our f*#@ing kids movies show us that all the females of value to society are 36-24-36. Our four year olds, both boys and girls, are programmed to think this is what adult women look like. Sorry, most models are freaks of natures. They are beautiful genetic abnormalities that are airbrushed like crazy while the rest of us suck down diet pills and run on treadmills until we pass out to emulate their looks.
And the real story of Pocahontas is completely different. In this article published on the website of the Powhatan tribe, they claim the the story that Pocahontas saved John Smith from being beaten to death by her own people was a complete false hood. In fact she married a different, John Rolfe. And she married him only as a condition of her RELEASE. You see she was being held captive in the Jamestown colony. in 1616 she traveled to London and served as propaganda to support the colony's interests at home. But she became ill on the voyage and died in Gravesend. Her grave was destroyed when the church where she was buried was reconstructed.
So you see, I have some issues with the movie. But I was happy to avoid the heat last week. Maybe next time I will pop on The Secret of NIMH (a personal favorite) or The Wizard of Oz (an ALL TIME personal favorite). I don't think I am going to be pushing Pocahontas as a repeated favorite.
21 Juli 2011
Ten Reasons to Bed Share
2. Ability to hear and help - We all hope that our children are safe, but in case of an emergency, it's important that we are able to get to them quickly. This is simply not something which can occur if we can't hear them. So, having a child in the room with us gives us a greater ability to hear them in case of emergency and respond more quickly. According to sleep researcher James McKenna, reminds parents that "co-sleeping gives the parent the best opportunity to hear the baby in crisis and to respond." He adds that "since protection from SIDS may be related to the frequency and duration of breastfeeding, and because babies breastfeed more when co-sleeping, this practice may help to protect some breastfeeding infants."
3. Lower SIDS Risks - During the early months of a child's life gaps in breathing are normal. While no one knows just why, some infants have been known to stop breathing and forget to restart, resulting in suffocation. Some studies have shown that co-sleeping mother's breathing can provide a signal to her infant to take another breath, which then prevents this SIDS situation from ever happening! In the event that this system fails, mother is close and is able to take action by arousing baby or even preform infant CPR in extreme situations. A breastfeeding mother and baby tend to have coordinated sleeping and dreaming cycles, making her keenly sensitive to her baby. If she is sleeping close by, she can awaken if her baby is having difficulty. But if the baby is alone, this type of life-saving intervention cannot take place.
4. Nighttime Risks Virtually Eliminated - While no one wants to think about them, there are many nighttime dangers for a child alone. Every year thousands of children die in fires, are stolen from their bed, attacked by pets, suffocate after vomiting, or fallen prey to any of the other various dangers of the night. The presence of a parent eliminates nearly all of these risks!
5. Suffocation Risks - When researching Bed Sharing you'll usually come across more than one article or list which states a great danger of suffocation. First, let me state that this is not only a great mis-conception, but in most cases downright wrong! While there IS a danger of infant suffocation in water-beds because the infant is unable to push themselves up or roll over when needed, and when a parent is intoxicated, normal co-sleeping actually protects from suffocation risks rather than adds to them. There is a greater risk of suffocation for children when parents are unable to attend to real suffocation risks such as vomiting during sleep, asthma, or strings from sleepwear around the neck.
6. Sexual Abuse Prevention - Another misconception about co-sleeping is that there is a sexual angle. Can I just say that's ridiculous! First of all, family beds were the norm for centuries, child molestation was not, nor is it today! In fact, parents who co-sleep with their children are known to develop deeper emotional bonds with their children and are LESS likely to resort to abusive behavior of ANY kind. In addition, in homes where children are at risk of being molested or abused by one parent, co-sleeping serves as a protection for the child. When children sleep alone it's easier for a parent, family member or friend to both access the child and to hide their activity...
7. Abuse Prevention - An exhausted parent is far more likely to abuse their child than a well-rested one. And a well rested child is happier and better behaved generally as well. Since the child isn't having to sit and cry in order to awaken mom & dad just to get what they need, they are able to sleep deeper & longer - and so are mom & dad!
8. Overall Health - Infants cry as a way to signal that they are in need of something. But prolonged crying is stressful to all family members. So the sooner the baby stops crying because their needs are met, the less stress for the entire family. Since added stress has been proven to affect everything from mental health to heart health, it makes sense that cutting everyone's stress by allowing your child to go though the night without crying makes a healthier family all the way around. A mother sleeping next to her baby can utilize the instinctive response a new mother has to her baby's first whimper, thus preventing the need for the hard crying that is so stressful to the baby and to all other members of the family.
9. Sibling Bonds - Children who sleep near each other have deeper sense of love and trush for one another. This tends to manifest in no only less sibling rivalry as children, but in a life long bond. Family members who are unable to form bonds through the day because of absance due to school or work, can partially make up for this by spending time at night together and by early morning family quality time which if often missed otherwise.
10. Heart Health - Coma patients have been shown to have a healthier herat rate, heart rhythm and blood pressure when there is someone in the room with them. It is reasonable to assume that both children and adults would have similar health benefits having others in the room with them through the night.
Many people I have spoke with seem to feel like co-sleeping is spoiling a child or as if it will endanger the relationship they have with their partner. However, it's reasonable to point out here that for thousands of years, families had just one bedroom, yet, children were not "spoiled" nor were the parents deprived of "couples time." Although, admittedly, parents do need to get a little more creative from time to time, but that comes with having children - co-sleepers or not. Rather, children who are cared for during the night as well as the day has a constant reassurance of love and support and never has to face fear, anger or abandonment emotions night after night. This leads to a child who has a stronger, more loving bond with parents and who are better able to cope with stresses as they arise in their day to day life as they grow.
As John Holt put it so eloquently, having feelings of love and safety in early life, far from "spoiling" a child, is like "money in the bank": a fund of trust, self-esteem and inner security which the child can draw on throughout life's challenges.
14 Juli 2011
Should Parents Lose Custody of Obese Children?: My Opinion
An interesting article came out yesterday all across the various internet news sites. Apparently, an opinion piece in the American Medical Journal released Wednesday states that in some cases putting an obese child in foster care is more ethical than surgery. Bariatric type surgery on young growing bodies is frought with controversy.
According to Dr David Ludwig, the hope is that state intervention "ideally will support not just the child but the whole family, with the goal of reuniting child and family as soon as possible. That may require instruction on parenting."
The various news reports did not comment on whether they think this is a good idea or not, that isn't their purpose. Fortunately I can. I imagine that the initial reaction to this story will be mixed with some folks coming out squarely against intervention while other brazenly claiming "if you can't take care of your kids..." I don't think that address the issue.
If you consider the current system and laws, a child may be removed from his home if his parents are neglecting him. This includes a parent who does not provide enough food for their child. A parent can also have their children taken away for medical neglect, i.e.-willfully not administering prescribed medication, or not seeking emergency medical care in the event of a serious condition or injury. I am pretty sure we all agree on that. The state reviews all cases before any child is taken away from their family. You may disagree with the quality of investigation that the state puts into these cases (I do not), and you may abhor the cases where kids fall through the cracks (I absolutely do). But, in that case what we are arguing about is the implementation of the law, not the law itself. The point of my post is the law.
I think super obese kids should be evaluated to see if the case warrants intervention. BUT I think this should happen at the point that kids are beginning to experience medical complications. Obesity alone is not enough reason to take a child away from their family. But when a child develops an otherwise preventable medical problem like Diabetes or difficulty breathing, it makes sense to me that some investigation should happen. And just because a social worker gets involved doesn't mean that foster care is the only path. It is logical that parents should be guided toward better nutrition education and parenting. The state taking custody of an obese child should be a last resort.
The article in the journal of the AMA was an opinion piece, not a politician speaking out in favor of writing a law surrounding this. And for what it's worth, it is already happening. The Yahoo Shine version of the story mentions the case of a three year old who was 90 pounds when she first met with Ludwig. By 12 she was 440 pounds and had developed sleep apnea, cholesterol problems, diabetes, etc. She was placed in foster care, given proper nutrition, and lost 130 pounds after one year. She may still be obese, but the articles mention that her medical conditions have abated.
I don't think anyone is suggesting a blanket approach to this problem. We all must remember that the laws are set up to help kids, not vilify parents. But, if your actions as a parent are creating medical problems in your child, the state should absolutely consider if removing the child from his family is neccessary.
Read the ABC News article:
Should Parents Lose Custody of Super Obese Kids?
This post is shared with Simple Lives Thursdays and with Food Renegade's Fight Back Fridays
According to Dr David Ludwig, the hope is that state intervention "ideally will support not just the child but the whole family, with the goal of reuniting child and family as soon as possible. That may require instruction on parenting."
The various news reports did not comment on whether they think this is a good idea or not, that isn't their purpose. Fortunately I can. I imagine that the initial reaction to this story will be mixed with some folks coming out squarely against intervention while other brazenly claiming "if you can't take care of your kids..." I don't think that address the issue.
If you consider the current system and laws, a child may be removed from his home if his parents are neglecting him. This includes a parent who does not provide enough food for their child. A parent can also have their children taken away for medical neglect, i.e.-willfully not administering prescribed medication, or not seeking emergency medical care in the event of a serious condition or injury. I am pretty sure we all agree on that. The state reviews all cases before any child is taken away from their family. You may disagree with the quality of investigation that the state puts into these cases (I do not), and you may abhor the cases where kids fall through the cracks (I absolutely do). But, in that case what we are arguing about is the implementation of the law, not the law itself. The point of my post is the law.
I think super obese kids should be evaluated to see if the case warrants intervention. BUT I think this should happen at the point that kids are beginning to experience medical complications. Obesity alone is not enough reason to take a child away from their family. But when a child develops an otherwise preventable medical problem like Diabetes or difficulty breathing, it makes sense to me that some investigation should happen. And just because a social worker gets involved doesn't mean that foster care is the only path. It is logical that parents should be guided toward better nutrition education and parenting. The state taking custody of an obese child should be a last resort.
The article in the journal of the AMA was an opinion piece, not a politician speaking out in favor of writing a law surrounding this. And for what it's worth, it is already happening. The Yahoo Shine version of the story mentions the case of a three year old who was 90 pounds when she first met with Ludwig. By 12 she was 440 pounds and had developed sleep apnea, cholesterol problems, diabetes, etc. She was placed in foster care, given proper nutrition, and lost 130 pounds after one year. She may still be obese, but the articles mention that her medical conditions have abated.
I don't think anyone is suggesting a blanket approach to this problem. We all must remember that the laws are set up to help kids, not vilify parents. But, if your actions as a parent are creating medical problems in your child, the state should absolutely consider if removing the child from his family is neccessary.
Read the ABC News article:
Should Parents Lose Custody of Super Obese Kids?
This post is shared with Simple Lives Thursdays and with Food Renegade's Fight Back Fridays
11 Juli 2011
My Kids (and I) Ruin Everything
My weekend sort of unofficially started Thursday evening. DH and I made dinner which NO ONE wanted to eat. The screamed, they fussed. They got up out of their chairs and ran around. Thing 1 had one time out that lasted for at least ten minutes because he insisted on leaving the corner, only to make us start the time out over. Thing 2 didn’t actually eat anything, which I wish I could say was a rarity. I joke now that he eats breakfast, morning snack, afternoon snack and nothing else. I suppose that is three meals, no? Since Thing 1 did eat dinner, so he had some kefir ice cream after dinner. But Thing 2 did not. Thing 2 went ballistic. This loveliness was followed by a bath in which there was hitting and water dumping. I was completely wet, which was enough to make me fly off the handle. Sweet huh?
Then at 8pm, just as the kids are getting settled into their beds, I realize I have forgotten a very important Skype date with my family. Like plum forgotten. I got the kids out of bed and we managed to work in a quick speakerphone phone call. I felt so guilty. Terrible in fact, I cried about it.
Around 3:45am, Thing 1 came into our bed. He was completely naked, holding a fresh set of new clothes. I wasn’t actually surprised. I had run out of overnight diapers and we had had a tremendous battle over a stupid glass of water the night before. His bed was soaked, he had no where else to sleep. He moved into our bed. Thing 1 punched me, he kicked me, he ended up sleeping sideways on our bed with his feet resting in my armpits and his head in DH’s back. He finally fell asleep at 4:50am. Which happened to be 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I never had gone back to sleep. I had made plans to meet a girlfriend early for a run in the park. If I hadn’t made plans to run with her I would have totally scaled exercise that morning.
While the kids were okay Saturday behavior-wise, we were out running errands in the morning when I texted a good friend about her son’s birthday party that day. “Where and when again?” I asked her. I didn’t receive a reply. Around one with the kids either asleep or out with Daddy I brought up the evite to be sure of what time the party was. OMG. The party was at 9am. We missed our friend’s son’s 4th birthday party? What kind of lousy mom misses something like that? It was treasonous.
Sunday started out overnight again, with Thing 1 coming into our bed at 1am, naked but this time holding no clothes. He had an overnight diaper by this point, so I am not sure how this all happened. But there he was again, kicking and punching us. DH and I were not happy. But I think that made it all the more stressful for Thing 1, because with his wet bed he didn’t really have any other place to sleep. I *almost* went and slept on the couch. But I didn’t. I should have, I felt wretched in the morning. And Thing 2 awoke at 5:15am in his crib to see his big brother gone. He assumed that he had overslept and everyone else must be up. He would not go back to sleep.
Sunday morning started well enough, a little sleep deprived, but nothing a little coffee couldn’t fix. But the day really started turning south when at my mother in law’s house Thing 1 tripped on her fan and broke it. He didn’t mean to trip on the fan, but it wasn’t a complete accident either. We went to 4 stores to find one that was suitable to replace it. And finally, Thing 1 refused to go up to my MIL’s apartment and give her the new fan. Let’s just say he didn’t win that fight.
Later in the afternoon we met my brother in law and his kids at the local pool, the Things had a blast. Only Thing 1 started choking on some pool water he swallowed and he threw up in the pool. DH swears that other parents picked up their tots and ran for cover. They closed the pool for 30 minutes.
Then when we came home, a full 5 hours after the original schedule, there were more hysterics, more punch-up drenching baths and maybe a hot dog or two was consumed. Currently I am running 5 loads of wash downstairs in our laundry room, much of which is soaked in toddler urine. So when I sat down to write something for the blog today, I just couldn’t write about finding chamomile at the farmer’s market (you know how to brew a cup of tea). I couldn’t produce a post about how it is sour cherry season or brag that I bought 3.5 pounds of them this weekend, pitted them and froze them. And I couldn’t post about the summer squash, kale and snow peas I sautéed in tomato basil sauce and served with pasta. I am way too tired. I feel completely overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed by the sleep deprivation, overwhelmed by cramming a work week into three days, overwhelmed by housecleaning, overwhelmed by carrying my kids EVERYWHERE because they refuse to walk. No, writing about sweet, pretty food topics just didn’t seem right. My heart wasn’t in it. It just wasn’t….funny enough.
Then at 8pm, just as the kids are getting settled into their beds, I realize I have forgotten a very important Skype date with my family. Like plum forgotten. I got the kids out of bed and we managed to work in a quick speakerphone phone call. I felt so guilty. Terrible in fact, I cried about it.
Around 3:45am, Thing 1 came into our bed. He was completely naked, holding a fresh set of new clothes. I wasn’t actually surprised. I had run out of overnight diapers and we had had a tremendous battle over a stupid glass of water the night before. His bed was soaked, he had no where else to sleep. He moved into our bed. Thing 1 punched me, he kicked me, he ended up sleeping sideways on our bed with his feet resting in my armpits and his head in DH’s back. He finally fell asleep at 4:50am. Which happened to be 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I never had gone back to sleep. I had made plans to meet a girlfriend early for a run in the park. If I hadn’t made plans to run with her I would have totally scaled exercise that morning.
While the kids were okay Saturday behavior-wise, we were out running errands in the morning when I texted a good friend about her son’s birthday party that day. “Where and when again?” I asked her. I didn’t receive a reply. Around one with the kids either asleep or out with Daddy I brought up the evite to be sure of what time the party was. OMG. The party was at 9am. We missed our friend’s son’s 4th birthday party? What kind of lousy mom misses something like that? It was treasonous.
Sunday started out overnight again, with Thing 1 coming into our bed at 1am, naked but this time holding no clothes. He had an overnight diaper by this point, so I am not sure how this all happened. But there he was again, kicking and punching us. DH and I were not happy. But I think that made it all the more stressful for Thing 1, because with his wet bed he didn’t really have any other place to sleep. I *almost* went and slept on the couch. But I didn’t. I should have, I felt wretched in the morning. And Thing 2 awoke at 5:15am in his crib to see his big brother gone. He assumed that he had overslept and everyone else must be up. He would not go back to sleep.
Sunday morning started well enough, a little sleep deprived, but nothing a little coffee couldn’t fix. But the day really started turning south when at my mother in law’s house Thing 1 tripped on her fan and broke it. He didn’t mean to trip on the fan, but it wasn’t a complete accident either. We went to 4 stores to find one that was suitable to replace it. And finally, Thing 1 refused to go up to my MIL’s apartment and give her the new fan. Let’s just say he didn’t win that fight.
Later in the afternoon we met my brother in law and his kids at the local pool, the Things had a blast. Only Thing 1 started choking on some pool water he swallowed and he threw up in the pool. DH swears that other parents picked up their tots and ran for cover. They closed the pool for 30 minutes.
Then when we came home, a full 5 hours after the original schedule, there were more hysterics, more punch-up drenching baths and maybe a hot dog or two was consumed. Currently I am running 5 loads of wash downstairs in our laundry room, much of which is soaked in toddler urine. So when I sat down to write something for the blog today, I just couldn’t write about finding chamomile at the farmer’s market (you know how to brew a cup of tea). I couldn’t produce a post about how it is sour cherry season or brag that I bought 3.5 pounds of them this weekend, pitted them and froze them. And I couldn’t post about the summer squash, kale and snow peas I sautéed in tomato basil sauce and served with pasta. I am way too tired. I feel completely overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed by the sleep deprivation, overwhelmed by cramming a work week into three days, overwhelmed by housecleaning, overwhelmed by carrying my kids EVERYWHERE because they refuse to walk. No, writing about sweet, pretty food topics just didn’t seem right. My heart wasn’t in it. It just wasn’t….funny enough.
1 Juli 2011
A Few Things I Have Learned From My Vacation This Year
DH and I agree, this is the best trip to Block Island we have ever taken. We have had great weather and I did enough advance planning with the food that every day has been enjoyable.
Here are just a few things I have learned while on this vacation. They are food related or parenting related, or neither.
1-If you have kids, it is worth it to rent a house.
Actually, we learned that three years ago when we first started renting this house. The kids have a tough enough time falling asleep in a different place, throw them into one big hotel room and all of a sudden Mom and Dad have to go to sleep at the same time as the kids. Boo. Renting a small two bedroom house means that we can stay up and enjoy our evening while the kidlets sleep. Plus, the house offers some private down time when the sun is hot. We can go in and play with toys we brought or read books or watch movies.
Now MY favorite thing about renting a house has got to be the yard. Not having a yard of our very own, running in circles in the grass or playing in a baby pool is a great joy for our kids. DH and I can crack a beer while the kids entertain themselves. Nice. But YOUR favorite thing about my renting a house is not getting stuck in a hotel room next to my crazy Things. They go nuts a couple times a day, usually as we are trying to leave the house for an outing. And we are the loudest family you will ever meet. So renting a private house is also a way to sure that others have a great vaca too.
2-Better to plan ahead and bring "approved" junk food rather than wait and get stuck buying whatever you can find.
We have eliminated junk foods, and so last year we didn't pack any treats. In fact I just didn't pack enough food period. So when we were hungry we reached for foods that we weren't buying at home, bagels and fishy crackers and muffins. Our options on the island are limited and there are virtually no organics. I was literally sick from overeating wheat. This year I thought ahead. Instead of buying whatever crossed our path, I packed "better junk food".
I stocked up on organic tater tots and Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Applegate Farms' Turkey Bologna and Kettle Chips. And even juice boxes!!!! Everyone feels like they are getting super spoiled while I know that there are no bad preservatives, food dyes or excess refined sugar. Plus much of the junk I bought was organic, So I know it is non-GMO. I don't want my kids to be completely devoid of treats. I just wish they would get more excited about kale and kefier smoothies. But until that day comes, it won't hurt to plan ahead and fill up on better treats.
You should have seen how excited the Things were when they saw juice boxes in my shopping cart. They were like Christmas excited. I feel good knowing that we still are having pastured meat and eggs as a focus. DH and I are having lots of fresh veggies (still modeling the behavior, no payoff in sight...). So a little junk might be just what these kiddos need.
3-I am pretty sure that turkey bologna still has triptaphanes in it.
Thing 2 decided that he would eschew all other lunch foods for the turkey bologna. He then proceeded to take a three hour nap. I could get used to this. Perhaps I need to figure out how to MAKE turkey bologna. Maybe...
4-I am pretty sure that these shorts were never intended for me.
Yet somehow they ended up in my bag. I am fairly certain that these shorts were meant for some precocious 12 year-old Lolita and not some 32 year-old mother of 2. The woman behind the counter looked at me like she truly hoped I was buying them as a gift for some neice somewhere. But I made sure I slipped in a 'Can I return these if I need a different size?' I am sure that she was horrified. Though DH was pretty psyched. I might not be wearing these into town, but I think they'll get some use. Haha! Gross.
5-There are many things about our modern lifestyle that are unecessary, but clothes dryers aren't one of them.
I don't remember what fabric softener it was that advertised its product as having the scent of line dried clothes. There are few places on earth where the air smells better than Block Island. The scent here at the end of June is a mix of roses, honeysuckle and sea salt. Yet all the clothes I have line dried here are stiff and wrinkely. I hate line drying clothes. Dryers are awesome.
6-If you rent a house across the street from a cemetary, prepare for questions from your almost four year old.
Our down time in Block Island has been spent having some very frank conversations about growing up, getting sick and dying. Thanks to my exemplary parenting skills, Thing 1 is now totally convinced that a) one goes to a cemetary to be buried when one gets sick and b) one can leave a cemetary once one gets better and c) it is possible for time to move backwards and, my favorite, d) staying a little boy forever is a viable life option. It doesn't matter that I told Thing 1 all about hospitals, where you actually go when you are sick and you can come home when you get better. Or that I also told him about Peter Pan, who lived on Neverland way before Jake and his baby pirates. Thing 1 just doesn't care. He believes what he believes. God bless him.
7-You can't just decide one day to stop using sunblock. You must also, that same day, buy your kids hats and start wearing beach coverups, etc.
DH and I have had some disagreements over the sunblock thing. He thinks I am crazy and any increase in melanoma cancer rates in the last 30 years is completely attributable to better medical care and early detection. I just want to get the kids to not get a sunburn. We settled on using sunblock on their faces, ears and heads. And we bought Thing 2 a hat and DH is resisting the urge to take it off him when he fusses. We have also, without verbally discussing it, kept shirts on the kids most of the time while they are at the beach or in the back yard during hot hot hours. I admit it, it took a few days to get the hang of. We are very toasty from those first couple days. We have always run around half naked relying on sunblock. We have had to really change our behavior to avoid both sunblock and sunburns. I have turned to DH's wonderfully light snap front shirts. They make great beach coverups. DH is just really crispy. But even he has (silently) agreed to not wear sunblock. I think we have the hang of this now. But it has taken a little bit of trial and error. After all, parks and barbeues are one thing, week long vacations are another. We aren't used to the sun out here in the middle of the ocean, so we are working on this one day at a time.
8-Brothers need vacation time.
The same can of course be said of sisters and any sibling gender combo. But for me and my personal experience, my boys have solidifed their best-friendship on this trip. To see Thing 1 coaching Thing 2 on how to perform Slip and Slide tricks while Thing 2 blathers on in his unitelligible baby language has been awesome. I catch them having conversations together where they think no one is listening. I see them holding hands when I haven't asked them to. I see them building their relationship. It is beautiful.
9-There is a kid's channel called Qubo. And on said channel there is a show called The Magic School Bus.
We are Nick Jr parents. I love the shows, the lessons and the no commercials. Here, Qubo is the only kid's channel available. And there are tons of commercials for things like debt reduction and Life Style Lifts. Thing 1 is kind of confused. I am not sure he knows where the show ends and the commercials begin.
Forgive any copyright infringement, but this Magic School Bus show is kinda cute and kinda kooky. I mean look at the lady in the picture!! She is wearing pickle earrings. It stars Lilly Tomlin and it highlights kid science topics. Well last night the Magic School Bus episode was all about microbes. And what was the example? PICKLES!! The class actually shrunk themselves and swam in the pickle jar while long chains of lactobacillius bacteria preserved a cucumber. I was actually kind proud. The show was talking about fermented foods as an example of microbiotic activity, as opposed to just some produce drowned in vinegar. I was thrilled. And Thing 1 watched eagerly. I might not be a huge Qubo fan, but they got
me with a show centered around fermented foods. Ha!
10-I really love beer.
No explanation needed. I just really love good beer. I know all the caveats about beer and health and weight. But....I am on vaca and well....it is just really good.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July! May you be blesses with a beautiful vacation (or several) this summer!
Enjoy!
Here are just a few things I have learned while on this vacation. They are food related or parenting related, or neither.
1-If you have kids, it is worth it to rent a house.
Actually, we learned that three years ago when we first started renting this house. The kids have a tough enough time falling asleep in a different place, throw them into one big hotel room and all of a sudden Mom and Dad have to go to sleep at the same time as the kids. Boo. Renting a small two bedroom house means that we can stay up and enjoy our evening while the kidlets sleep. Plus, the house offers some private down time when the sun is hot. We can go in and play with toys we brought or read books or watch movies.
Now MY favorite thing about renting a house has got to be the yard. Not having a yard of our very own, running in circles in the grass or playing in a baby pool is a great joy for our kids. DH and I can crack a beer while the kids entertain themselves. Nice. But YOUR favorite thing about my renting a house is not getting stuck in a hotel room next to my crazy Things. They go nuts a couple times a day, usually as we are trying to leave the house for an outing. And we are the loudest family you will ever meet. So renting a private house is also a way to sure that others have a great vaca too.
2-Better to plan ahead and bring "approved" junk food rather than wait and get stuck buying whatever you can find.
We have eliminated junk foods, and so last year we didn't pack any treats. In fact I just didn't pack enough food period. So when we were hungry we reached for foods that we weren't buying at home, bagels and fishy crackers and muffins. Our options on the island are limited and there are virtually no organics. I was literally sick from overeating wheat. This year I thought ahead. Instead of buying whatever crossed our path, I packed "better junk food".
I stocked up on organic tater tots and Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Applegate Farms' Turkey Bologna and Kettle Chips. And even juice boxes!!!! Everyone feels like they are getting super spoiled while I know that there are no bad preservatives, food dyes or excess refined sugar. Plus much of the junk I bought was organic, So I know it is non-GMO. I don't want my kids to be completely devoid of treats. I just wish they would get more excited about kale and kefier smoothies. But until that day comes, it won't hurt to plan ahead and fill up on better treats.
You should have seen how excited the Things were when they saw juice boxes in my shopping cart. They were like Christmas excited. I feel good knowing that we still are having pastured meat and eggs as a focus. DH and I are having lots of fresh veggies (still modeling the behavior, no payoff in sight...). So a little junk might be just what these kiddos need.
3-I am pretty sure that turkey bologna still has triptaphanes in it.
Thing 2 decided that he would eschew all other lunch foods for the turkey bologna. He then proceeded to take a three hour nap. I could get used to this. Perhaps I need to figure out how to MAKE turkey bologna. Maybe...
4-I am pretty sure that these shorts were never intended for me.
Yet somehow they ended up in my bag. I am fairly certain that these shorts were meant for some precocious 12 year-old Lolita and not some 32 year-old mother of 2. The woman behind the counter looked at me like she truly hoped I was buying them as a gift for some neice somewhere. But I made sure I slipped in a 'Can I return these if I need a different size?' I am sure that she was horrified. Though DH was pretty psyched. I might not be wearing these into town, but I think they'll get some use. Haha! Gross.
5-There are many things about our modern lifestyle that are unecessary, but clothes dryers aren't one of them.
I don't remember what fabric softener it was that advertised its product as having the scent of line dried clothes. There are few places on earth where the air smells better than Block Island. The scent here at the end of June is a mix of roses, honeysuckle and sea salt. Yet all the clothes I have line dried here are stiff and wrinkely. I hate line drying clothes. Dryers are awesome.
6-If you rent a house across the street from a cemetary, prepare for questions from your almost four year old.
Our down time in Block Island has been spent having some very frank conversations about growing up, getting sick and dying. Thanks to my exemplary parenting skills, Thing 1 is now totally convinced that a) one goes to a cemetary to be buried when one gets sick and b) one can leave a cemetary once one gets better and c) it is possible for time to move backwards and, my favorite, d) staying a little boy forever is a viable life option. It doesn't matter that I told Thing 1 all about hospitals, where you actually go when you are sick and you can come home when you get better. Or that I also told him about Peter Pan, who lived on Neverland way before Jake and his baby pirates. Thing 1 just doesn't care. He believes what he believes. God bless him.
7-You can't just decide one day to stop using sunblock. You must also, that same day, buy your kids hats and start wearing beach coverups, etc.
DH and I have had some disagreements over the sunblock thing. He thinks I am crazy and any increase in melanoma cancer rates in the last 30 years is completely attributable to better medical care and early detection. I just want to get the kids to not get a sunburn. We settled on using sunblock on their faces, ears and heads. And we bought Thing 2 a hat and DH is resisting the urge to take it off him when he fusses. We have also, without verbally discussing it, kept shirts on the kids most of the time while they are at the beach or in the back yard during hot hot hours. I admit it, it took a few days to get the hang of. We are very toasty from those first couple days. We have always run around half naked relying on sunblock. We have had to really change our behavior to avoid both sunblock and sunburns. I have turned to DH's wonderfully light snap front shirts. They make great beach coverups. DH is just really crispy. But even he has (silently) agreed to not wear sunblock. I think we have the hang of this now. But it has taken a little bit of trial and error. After all, parks and barbeues are one thing, week long vacations are another. We aren't used to the sun out here in the middle of the ocean, so we are working on this one day at a time.
8-Brothers need vacation time.
The same can of course be said of sisters and any sibling gender combo. But for me and my personal experience, my boys have solidifed their best-friendship on this trip. To see Thing 1 coaching Thing 2 on how to perform Slip and Slide tricks while Thing 2 blathers on in his unitelligible baby language has been awesome. I catch them having conversations together where they think no one is listening. I see them holding hands when I haven't asked them to. I see them building their relationship. It is beautiful.
9-There is a kid's channel called Qubo. And on said channel there is a show called The Magic School Bus.
We are Nick Jr parents. I love the shows, the lessons and the no commercials. Here, Qubo is the only kid's channel available. And there are tons of commercials for things like debt reduction and Life Style Lifts. Thing 1 is kind of confused. I am not sure he knows where the show ends and the commercials begin.
Forgive any copyright infringement, but this Magic School Bus show is kinda cute and kinda kooky. I mean look at the lady in the picture!! She is wearing pickle earrings. It stars Lilly Tomlin and it highlights kid science topics. Well last night the Magic School Bus episode was all about microbes. And what was the example? PICKLES!! The class actually shrunk themselves and swam in the pickle jar while long chains of lactobacillius bacteria preserved a cucumber. I was actually kind proud. The show was talking about fermented foods as an example of microbiotic activity, as opposed to just some produce drowned in vinegar. I was thrilled. And Thing 1 watched eagerly. I might not be a huge Qubo fan, but they got
me with a show centered around fermented foods. Ha!
10-I really love beer.
No explanation needed. I just really love good beer. I know all the caveats about beer and health and weight. But....I am on vaca and well....it is just really good.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July! May you be blesses with a beautiful vacation (or several) this summer!
Enjoy!
29 Juni 2011
Co-Sleeping: 10 reasons why
The Top 10 Reasons Why Every Parent Should Co-Sleep
- Infants who co-sleep go to sleep faster and stay asleep longer.
- Sleeping together helps babies and parents form a close bond that continues throughout life.
- Co-sleeping offers a lower risk of SIDS than other forms of infant sleep do.
- Children who co-sleep are healthier mentally and emotionally. They have higher self-esteem & more positive outlooks. It's also been shown that they preform better in school.
- Breastfeeding is easier. Babies don't need to cry until mom wakes up, goes to get baby and nurse. Allowing mom & baby both to get more sleep through the night.
- Co-Sleeping expert, James McKenna reminds parents that "co-sleeping gives the parent the best opportunity to hear the baby in crisis and to respond." He adds that "since protection from SIDS may be related to the frequency and duration of breastfeeding, and because babies breastfeed more when co-sleeping, this practice may help to protect some breastfeeding infants."
- More mothers who co-sleep report feeling better rested.
- By sleeping next to the mother, the infant learns when to breath as gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of infancy. The mother also becomes in tune with the infants breathing and is more aware when the infant’s breathing becomes irregular. This prevents any incidence of SIDS from occurring and if the baby was alone, this type of life-saving intervention could not take place.
- Nightmares & Night Terrors are less common among children who bed share and they are more likely not to develop separation anxieties when they are placed in their own beds.
- Nighttime safety is overall better since parents are close in case of emergencies like fire, suffocation, illness, etc. Children within reach of parents also have less of a chance of injury simply out of the fact that parents are more aware of the goings on.
28 Juni 2011
Talking to Your Kids About Drugs
I was born in 1979. I was a child of the eighties, the product of endless social programs like Nancy Reagan's 'Just Say No' Campaign or D.A.R.E. By the sixth grade we had been taught about marijuana, cocaine and heroin. We believed that one dose would trigger a horrible cycle of addiction ending with the addict stealing from loved ones and living on the street.
It wasn't until many years later that I learned the even worse truth. Some people CAN do drugs socially while others crumple under crushing addiction. I have known kids who innocently smoked weed, I have met adults that still do. I have known functional heroin addicts and some people in recovery. It isn't the kind of thing you wear on your sleeve, but people own up to it in private. But the most chilling reality is that drugs really are everywhere.
When I became a parent I vowed that in time I would bring up the conversation about illegal drugs. And I would not just tell the story of the homeless junkie who has lost their family because of their habit or that tweaked out crazy person screaming on the train. I would also tell the story of the rich kid who does coke when he parties. Or the adult who started smoking weed at parties and now as an adult still does so, putting his job and life in jeopardy. Or the guy who's job is so demanding that he uses to get more done. And what about the person who abuses perscription pain pills?! People all over do drugs for different reasons. There isn't just one blueprint for how illegal drugs ruin your life. I also want to tell the story that there are people who do drugs a few times and have a bad reaction to them and land in the hospital. You really don't know what you are going to get. How about a game of Russian roulette?
I recently realized that I have already begun to have this conversation with my children. In speaking with them about putting good foods in their bodies I am teaching them to respect themselves through nutrition. Hopefully they will understand from a young age that polluting our bodies is not wise nor does it benefit us. But while I start out having a conversation about preservatives and food dyes, it will be an easy transition when my kids are old enough to hear my opinions about illicit drugs. Illegal drugs are just like the chemicals that have been added to our food, in the sense that they are chemicals that have a reaction in the body. Illegal drugs however can be acutely detrimental to our bodies, whereas most food preservatives must build up over time (except in the case of allergy).
Thinking of the paralells between food and drugs, I felt some stress roll away about my future duties as a parent. I truly believe that my kids will see drugs often, perhaps starting as young as middle school. I am no 'hide my head in the sand' parent. My plan on talking with my kids about drugs is to talk to them often and to not be shy about it. What might start out as an awkward conversation probably will end up as a frank conversation. And the conversation has got to start somewhere.
It wasn't until many years later that I learned the even worse truth. Some people CAN do drugs socially while others crumple under crushing addiction. I have known kids who innocently smoked weed, I have met adults that still do. I have known functional heroin addicts and some people in recovery. It isn't the kind of thing you wear on your sleeve, but people own up to it in private. But the most chilling reality is that drugs really are everywhere.
When I became a parent I vowed that in time I would bring up the conversation about illegal drugs. And I would not just tell the story of the homeless junkie who has lost their family because of their habit or that tweaked out crazy person screaming on the train. I would also tell the story of the rich kid who does coke when he parties. Or the adult who started smoking weed at parties and now as an adult still does so, putting his job and life in jeopardy. Or the guy who's job is so demanding that he uses to get more done. And what about the person who abuses perscription pain pills?! People all over do drugs for different reasons. There isn't just one blueprint for how illegal drugs ruin your life. I also want to tell the story that there are people who do drugs a few times and have a bad reaction to them and land in the hospital. You really don't know what you are going to get. How about a game of Russian roulette?
I recently realized that I have already begun to have this conversation with my children. In speaking with them about putting good foods in their bodies I am teaching them to respect themselves through nutrition. Hopefully they will understand from a young age that polluting our bodies is not wise nor does it benefit us. But while I start out having a conversation about preservatives and food dyes, it will be an easy transition when my kids are old enough to hear my opinions about illicit drugs. Illegal drugs are just like the chemicals that have been added to our food, in the sense that they are chemicals that have a reaction in the body. Illegal drugs however can be acutely detrimental to our bodies, whereas most food preservatives must build up over time (except in the case of allergy).
Thinking of the paralells between food and drugs, I felt some stress roll away about my future duties as a parent. I truly believe that my kids will see drugs often, perhaps starting as young as middle school. I am no 'hide my head in the sand' parent. My plan on talking with my kids about drugs is to talk to them often and to not be shy about it. What might start out as an awkward conversation probably will end up as a frank conversation. And the conversation has got to start somewhere.
26 Juni 2011
How to make Edible finger paints!
This is a really easy paint to make from ingredients you can find in your pantry and will keep your children occupied for hours!
What you will need:
4 tablespoons of sugar
1/2 cup of corn flour
3 cups cold water
food coloring
What to do:
1. Stir sugar & corn flour together.
2. While stirring, slowly add the water, heat over medium heat until mixture thickens. (paint will thicken further when it cools)
3. divide into containers and add the food coloring.
4. Have Fun!
24 Juni 2011
It's On: This Is Survival of the Fittest
When I was in the seventh grade, my social studies teacher Mr Shipman taught us that there were 5 billion people aproximately living on earth. Mr. Shipman himself is, for some reason in my brain, integral in my memory of the earth's population. I heard that figure several more times throughout high school but by my college years the news reports were all reporting that earth human population had topped 6 billion. And today we are fast approaching 7 billion.
Writers love to write about 'sustainability', 'doing more with less' and 'supporting growing populations' but what they aren't saying in so many words is: 'Good God, soon there aren't going to be enough resources (read food and water) for all the people on earth!!' Perhaps it wouldn't be wise for them to foster fear among a large section of the population. We can't possibly know how critical our food and water and natural resource situation will get in the next 20 years as a result of population expansion. I believe that if we needed to adapt to shortages of certain items, most people could (provided that the shortages don't encompass. EVERYTHING). Life has continued to find a way to adapt and survive for millenia. I actually have full faith that when oil runs out or becomes endangered enough to become prohibitively expensive that electric car technology will suddenly be pulled out of the dusty back drawer and someone will make ka-gillions!! But until we are forced to wean off gas, we probably won't. $4 a gallon hurts, but it isn't currently making MOST people rethink driving or their job or their living situation, certain subsets of the population excluded.
Food is different though, while some countries have always dealt with simply having enough food for their expanding populations, the US struggles with having TOO MUCH food. You'd think this was a GOOD problem to have. The US currently produces, on a yearly average, about 3900 calories of food for each person in the country per day. The USDA recommends that the average adult consume about 2000 calories per day. Much of the uneaten food is exported and some is wasted, like unsold grocery store food, spoiled foods and restaurant leftovers. But when the extra calories are owned by major corporations they have historically found ways to sell them off and convince you to consume them. From the same source as before, it is estimated that Americans consumed about 2700 caloires per person per day in 2007 for example. That is 28% higher than 1970. And we weigh on average about 30% more too. This tells me that when there is a surplus of food, humans typically rise to the challenge and eat the surplus, even if we don't biologically need it. This also tells me that MARKETING WORKS. Most of the country has succumbed to the message to eat more all while believing that they are impervious to most marketing schemes.
Obesity has created a whole mess of conversation in our nation. We talk incessantly about changing laws and fining fast food restaurants for fraud and public endangerment. We argue about soda taxes and the rights of the overweight. We argue over the Farm Bill knowing that SOMONE will get hurt be it the farmers or public at large. Bloggers like me take to the internet to desperately hope to change our food culture and our children before we all fall victim. But when do we step back from the din of disagreement and say 'I am going to eat right because I HAVE to, not because it is easy.' Some of us have already begun to do so.
Call me a pessimist but I don't think things are going to change fast enough for my generation and possibly my kid's generation. Being so pessimistic doesn't make me write less or feel that what I talk about is futile. We are slowly changing our food culture. But in the mean time I openly admit that I am throwing down the gauntlet. Our obesity crisis is a classic case of survival of the fittest.
If I had a nickel for every person I had met who didn't care about the food that they eat, I would be a rich woman. I have had people tease me and say I was making too much out of our exposure to pesticide residues and chemical food additives. Or, "I have been eating that for YEARS and I am not sick!" Or my favorite "But the chemicals taste so good!"
Well, this pessimist is doing what it takes to feed my kids right, regardless of what anyone else says. I am currently teaching my kids that uber processed sugars, GMOs, chemical additives and the whole host of non-foods that we currently eat as a nation are WRONG! I am not tip toeing around the average child nutritionist's fear of labeling some foods good or bad. I am simply teaching my kids that certain things are food and certain things are not. And in the end, this will make my family stronger and more fit to carry on the gene pool for our species. Call me competetive, but this is survival of the fittest.
We are facing over population. And the biological history book doesn't tell a great story for those species who become out of balance in the world. The earth always wins. Call me controversial. Call me a nut case. Call me drunk with my own opinion. But future fortune will favor those who are strong and healthy. And who knows what lays around the corner? So until then we will continue to eat real food and support local sustainable food systems. We will continue to look for ways to garden and make our own food. And we will continue to encourage people to join the real food movement because we need more like minded people. And it would be unfair to keep our real food secret to ourselves! But what do I say to the detractors? I say 'Bah, you can have your vegetable oil and your Cheetos and your factory farmed beef chunks!' And the next time someone teases me about what I eat or tells me that I am a nut job for believing that the Standard American Diet is such a problem, well, I might just keep my mouth shut. I am a formidable foe after all.
Writers love to write about 'sustainability', 'doing more with less' and 'supporting growing populations' but what they aren't saying in so many words is: 'Good God, soon there aren't going to be enough resources (read food and water) for all the people on earth!!' Perhaps it wouldn't be wise for them to foster fear among a large section of the population. We can't possibly know how critical our food and water and natural resource situation will get in the next 20 years as a result of population expansion. I believe that if we needed to adapt to shortages of certain items, most people could (provided that the shortages don't encompass. EVERYTHING). Life has continued to find a way to adapt and survive for millenia. I actually have full faith that when oil runs out or becomes endangered enough to become prohibitively expensive that electric car technology will suddenly be pulled out of the dusty back drawer and someone will make ka-gillions!! But until we are forced to wean off gas, we probably won't. $4 a gallon hurts, but it isn't currently making MOST people rethink driving or their job or their living situation, certain subsets of the population excluded.
Food is different though, while some countries have always dealt with simply having enough food for their expanding populations, the US struggles with having TOO MUCH food. You'd think this was a GOOD problem to have. The US currently produces, on a yearly average, about 3900 calories of food for each person in the country per day. The USDA recommends that the average adult consume about 2000 calories per day. Much of the uneaten food is exported and some is wasted, like unsold grocery store food, spoiled foods and restaurant leftovers. But when the extra calories are owned by major corporations they have historically found ways to sell them off and convince you to consume them. From the same source as before, it is estimated that Americans consumed about 2700 caloires per person per day in 2007 for example. That is 28% higher than 1970. And we weigh on average about 30% more too. This tells me that when there is a surplus of food, humans typically rise to the challenge and eat the surplus, even if we don't biologically need it. This also tells me that MARKETING WORKS. Most of the country has succumbed to the message to eat more all while believing that they are impervious to most marketing schemes.
Obesity has created a whole mess of conversation in our nation. We talk incessantly about changing laws and fining fast food restaurants for fraud and public endangerment. We argue about soda taxes and the rights of the overweight. We argue over the Farm Bill knowing that SOMONE will get hurt be it the farmers or public at large. Bloggers like me take to the internet to desperately hope to change our food culture and our children before we all fall victim. But when do we step back from the din of disagreement and say 'I am going to eat right because I HAVE to, not because it is easy.' Some of us have already begun to do so.
Call me a pessimist but I don't think things are going to change fast enough for my generation and possibly my kid's generation. Being so pessimistic doesn't make me write less or feel that what I talk about is futile. We are slowly changing our food culture. But in the mean time I openly admit that I am throwing down the gauntlet. Our obesity crisis is a classic case of survival of the fittest.
If I had a nickel for every person I had met who didn't care about the food that they eat, I would be a rich woman. I have had people tease me and say I was making too much out of our exposure to pesticide residues and chemical food additives. Or, "I have been eating that for YEARS and I am not sick!" Or my favorite "But the chemicals taste so good!"
Well, this pessimist is doing what it takes to feed my kids right, regardless of what anyone else says. I am currently teaching my kids that uber processed sugars, GMOs, chemical additives and the whole host of non-foods that we currently eat as a nation are WRONG! I am not tip toeing around the average child nutritionist's fear of labeling some foods good or bad. I am simply teaching my kids that certain things are food and certain things are not. And in the end, this will make my family stronger and more fit to carry on the gene pool for our species. Call me competetive, but this is survival of the fittest.
We are facing over population. And the biological history book doesn't tell a great story for those species who become out of balance in the world. The earth always wins. Call me controversial. Call me a nut case. Call me drunk with my own opinion. But future fortune will favor those who are strong and healthy. And who knows what lays around the corner? So until then we will continue to eat real food and support local sustainable food systems. We will continue to look for ways to garden and make our own food. And we will continue to encourage people to join the real food movement because we need more like minded people. And it would be unfair to keep our real food secret to ourselves! But what do I say to the detractors? I say 'Bah, you can have your vegetable oil and your Cheetos and your factory farmed beef chunks!' And the next time someone teases me about what I eat or tells me that I am a nut job for believing that the Standard American Diet is such a problem, well, I might just keep my mouth shut. I am a formidable foe after all.
20 Juni 2011
Anatomy of a Weeknight
This post is for anyone who has ever wondered what that awful noise is as they walked by our apartment door. This post is also for all my colleagues who feel jealous that I leave the office earlier than they do. (PS-I also come into the office an hour earlier than they do.) And this post is for anyone who thinks we are crazy for taking on cooking every night on top of everything else we do…This is what I do, every night. (Uuuhh, insert different food for each night though….)
· 5:10 PM-S#!t! It is time for me to walk out of the office!
· 5:20 PM-Train is supposed to arrive. It doesn’t.
· 5:25 PM-Train arrives. I pack on.
· 5:58 PM-Get off train, walk home. Run into neighbors and friends, chat on the way home.
· 6:03 PM-I walk in the door. Thing 1 sneers, Thing 2 runs up to me calling ‘Nana!’ (Yes, he calls me Nana, not Mama, even though he is almost 2 years old. He says M’s, just not in reference to me).
· 6:07 PM-Baby sitter leaves, I turn on Wonder Pets. Big smiles from everyone including Mommy.
· 6:10 PM-Realize I forgot to defrost the ground beef.
· 6:12 PM-Run the beef under warm water.
· 6:15 PM-Chop broccoli. Get the pots and pans out to start frying the ground beef and boiling the broccoli. Put the water on for the broccoli.
· 6:18 PM-Change clothes. Oh yeah! I had to pee since before I left the office. Go to the bathroom.
· 6:20 PM-Take away the broom that Thing 2 has fished out of the closet and is now using to dust the coffee table. “Yuk, that’s dirty!”
· 6:21 PM-Heat up the pan to fry up hamburgers. Fill up the Thing’s water cups.
· 6:22 PM-Intervene between Thing 1 and Thing 2. “That’s ONE, don’t throw his toys, it isn’t nice”
· 6:23 PM-“That’s TWO!!!”
· 6:24 PM-Start frying the burgers, put the broccoli into the boiling water.
· 6:25 PM-Sit down with the kiddies to watch Moose and Zee. Cuddles, maybe a kiss or two.
· 6:30 PM- *Sniff Sniff* Oh Dear! Burgers are done!!
· 6:31 PM-Microwave the leftover brown rice.
· 6:32 PM-Plates on the table. “I am turning off the TV! No, we are not watching TV tonight during dinner….We are going to talk about our day…Yes, we have to.”
· 6:38 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat again.
· 6:40 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:42 PM-Bribe Thing 1, if he eats 4 more bites of meat, he can have some watermelon after dinner. Thing 1 finishes all his meat, which is way more than the four bites I asked him to eat.
· 6:55 PM-Thing 1 gets his watermelon. Thing 2 cries because he wants some too. But seeing as how he has eaten nothing all day but apples, strawberries, a banana milk and toast (maybe some egg for breakfast), I have a hard time giving him MORE fruit.
· 7:00 PM-Clean Up Time!!
· 7:15 PM-Bath Time!!
· 7:17 PM-Thing 1 shoots Thing 2 in the face with a water gun. Mommy confiscates it.
· 7:25 PM-Screaming bloody murder, oh Lordy it’s a hair washing night.
· 7:30 PM-Daddy’s home from work! Hallelujah! Tooth brush time!
· 7:35 PM-Kids are dried off and in PJs.
· 7:40 PM-Book reading time. Thing 1 listens while Thing 2 runs around unloading toys that were previously put away.
· 7:55 PM-Kisses all around, maybe some screaming in protest. Daddy piles everyone in bed.
· 8:00 PM- Mommy cracks that bottle of white wine that has been talking to her since she walked in the door.
· 5:10 PM-S#!t! It is time for me to walk out of the office!
· 5:20 PM-Train is supposed to arrive. It doesn’t.
· 5:25 PM-Train arrives. I pack on.
· 5:58 PM-Get off train, walk home. Run into neighbors and friends, chat on the way home.
· 6:03 PM-I walk in the door. Thing 1 sneers, Thing 2 runs up to me calling ‘Nana!’ (Yes, he calls me Nana, not Mama, even though he is almost 2 years old. He says M’s, just not in reference to me).
· 6:07 PM-Baby sitter leaves, I turn on Wonder Pets. Big smiles from everyone including Mommy.
· 6:10 PM-Realize I forgot to defrost the ground beef.
· 6:12 PM-Run the beef under warm water.
· 6:15 PM-Chop broccoli. Get the pots and pans out to start frying the ground beef and boiling the broccoli. Put the water on for the broccoli.
· 6:18 PM-Change clothes. Oh yeah! I had to pee since before I left the office. Go to the bathroom.
· 6:20 PM-Take away the broom that Thing 2 has fished out of the closet and is now using to dust the coffee table. “Yuk, that’s dirty!”
· 6:21 PM-Heat up the pan to fry up hamburgers. Fill up the Thing’s water cups.
· 6:22 PM-Intervene between Thing 1 and Thing 2. “That’s ONE, don’t throw his toys, it isn’t nice”
· 6:23 PM-“That’s TWO!!!”
· 6:24 PM-Start frying the burgers, put the broccoli into the boiling water.
· 6:25 PM-Sit down with the kiddies to watch Moose and Zee. Cuddles, maybe a kiss or two.
· 6:30 PM- *Sniff Sniff* Oh Dear! Burgers are done!!
· 6:31 PM-Microwave the leftover brown rice.
· 6:32 PM-Plates on the table. “I am turning off the TV! No, we are not watching TV tonight during dinner….We are going to talk about our day…Yes, we have to.”
· 6:38 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat again.
· 6:40 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:42 PM-Bribe Thing 1, if he eats 4 more bites of meat, he can have some watermelon after dinner. Thing 1 finishes all his meat, which is way more than the four bites I asked him to eat.
· 6:55 PM-Thing 1 gets his watermelon. Thing 2 cries because he wants some too. But seeing as how he has eaten nothing all day but apples, strawberries, a banana milk and toast (maybe some egg for breakfast), I have a hard time giving him MORE fruit.
· 7:00 PM-Clean Up Time!!
· 7:15 PM-Bath Time!!
· 7:17 PM-Thing 1 shoots Thing 2 in the face with a water gun. Mommy confiscates it.
· 7:25 PM-Screaming bloody murder, oh Lordy it’s a hair washing night.
· 7:30 PM-Daddy’s home from work! Hallelujah! Tooth brush time!
· 7:35 PM-Kids are dried off and in PJs.
· 7:40 PM-Book reading time. Thing 1 listens while Thing 2 runs around unloading toys that were previously put away.
· 7:55 PM-Kisses all around, maybe some screaming in protest. Daddy piles everyone in bed.
· 8:00 PM- Mommy cracks that bottle of white wine that has been talking to her since she walked in the door.
17 Juni 2011
Sunburns, Melanoma and Vitamin D: Why I (Mostly) Ditched Sunscreen
After four years of dutifully slathering my kids with sunscreen so that their delicate little baby bottoms wouldn’t burn, one day I just…stopped. I felt like a rebel. Perhaps I was a rebel without a cause, at least I thought I had a cause! I made little fanfare about it. I didn’t discuss it with the hubs and I didn’t tell any of my friends. I mean…what kind of mother takes her toddlers out to play in the sun without putting sunscreen on them?
I have tried moisturizers with SPF. They sat on my skin like a wind breaker. When I would wash them off at night they still felt greasy and heavy, even the 'lightweight' versions. And don't even get me started about the smell. I stopped using them, even though everyone of my friends swore I was going to get skin cancer from my 20-30 minutes of daily sun exposure. I was sure of it too.
But there is something about this thinking that seemed counterintuitive. Rates of skin cancer have skyrocketed in the last hundred years, sending us to hide under sunscreen. In fact authority after authority has proclaimed even small exposure to sun as a major health risk! And then to replicate that bronzey glow we have turned to sunless tanner or rather creams that dye the skin an unnatural orange. I tried them too. And I couldn't get past the smell and uneven, unnatural color. I simply would rather be pale than orange.
But, in all our attempts to save ourselves from melanoma and wrinkles, have we? Skin cancer (both malignant and nonmalignant) rates have gone up dramatically since about 1950, but they have jumped even higher in the last 20 years. While countless doctors claim that this is due to increased awareness and better access to preventative medicine, is it? Overall cancer rates (and cancer deaths) have increased dramatically in the last 50 years and everyone is in agreement that the increase cannot just be attributed to better medical care. But in the last 30 years that we have been hiding ourselves from the sun, have we accomplished anything at all? In fact we have! When one is covered up by sunscreens it turns out that one cannot synthesize Vitamin D. Remember Vitamin D? It is the vitamin that is really a hormone. In food, it is fat soluble and comes with sun related items, think green veggies (chlorophyll needs sunlight to turn green) and animals products from animals who have been outside (think pastured eating green grass not penned eating yellow corn). Vitamin D can also be found in great quantities in oily fish like sardines and salmon. Vitamin D is now thought to be a key player in immunity, making the irony of 'that healthy glow' all the more ironic. Vitamin D is also crucial in keeping cancer from forming, suppressing cold viruses and all around good health. While my kids measure up pretty well in their Vitamin D levels (I had Thing 1 checked), I am still considering a supplement when they start school and daycare in the fall. Perhaps we can have fewer absences as a result. Though to be sure I will use a Cod Liver Oil supplement, or a D3 supplement, rather than the less effective D2.
The American population is currently believed to be Vitamin D deficient in epidemic proportions. It is estimated that up to 40% of the US Population is deficient in Vitamin D near the end of the winter time, when Vitamin D levels are at their lowest because of lack of sun exposure. A healthy measure would be 50 nmol/L. When my son was tested he measured a 90 nmol/L, and that was in the middle of a New England winter. He also doesn't (willingly) eat that much fish nor does he eat an overwhelming amount of greens, though he will eat some. What do we do? We eat fat. Even our milk is unsupplemented, but it is from cows that are outside, and it's whole. Us adults, we eats lots of leafy greens. Hopefully that behavior will be properly modeled and the kids will start to do it soon too! Your levels should never be below 32 nmol/L though, because that can set up children up for rickets (a bone disorder causing curvature of the bones, think bowed legs) and for adults, osteomalacia. As recently as last year the BBC reported a rise in rickets in the UK. And in the US rickets has been on the rise too, though most articles cite only babies as being tested, not all children.
The one thing I am still afraid of afraid of is sunburns. My kids are little bitties and their skin is so soft. So long exposure to sun particularly at the hottest times of the day will require some sun lotion. However do I need to slather every inch of them in it every time we leave the house? I don't think so. And what about SPF? 20 was common when I was growing up, 30 was for the overachievers. Today 50 is common for children's lotions and I have even seen 70. Really? 70 SPF? I wonder if I can even find 20 SPF anymore?
So this summer I am mostly ditching sunscreen, though to be sure I am taking some precautions. I won't be sunbathing specifically for a tan. Whether or not sunbathing causes melanoma, excessive sun exposure sure does cause premature aging, and I am finally old enough to actively fear wrinkles. We will probably avoid the beach during the hottest hours of the day, 12-2. Incidentally the hottest hours of the day are the same time as lunch and nap. And since a beach only intensifies the sun's rays due to the white sand, I will use some sunscreen during our infrequent trips to the beach. We don't want to spend our vacation nursing a sunburn. But if we are going to the playground and the park or just taking a quick walk on the beach boardwalk, I am ditching the potentially risky sunscreens. I am even ditching hats which my kids hate anyway. And if someone asks why I am not taking care of my kids and covering them up, expect the long answer. So, judgers beware, I can TALK your ear off.
Common sense kept us healthy for so long, why did we abandon it in the last 50 years for something newer and shinier? All our attempts to make life better with chemicals and manmade unnatural products have only served to make us sicker. Save money this summer! Ditch the sunscreen and use some common sense instead! Maybe then the rates of melanoma and nonmalignant skin cancers will start going down.
More References:
Articles, Dr. Mercola: Some Spray Tans Stop you from producting Vitamin D
Dr. Mercola's Book on the Propaganda of the Evils of Sun Exposure: Dark Deception
Topicalinfo.org: Melanoma related to the Consumption of Polyunsaturated Oils (Will you just give this up already?)
CA Cancer J Clin: Malignent Melanoma (Includes Risk of Skin Cancer in the Last 80 Years)
National Institutes of Health, Office of Dietary Supplements: Vitamin D
This post is shared with Food Renegade's Fight Back Friday and Traditional Tuesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays at Sustainable Eats and GNOWFLINS and Others
I have tried moisturizers with SPF. They sat on my skin like a wind breaker. When I would wash them off at night they still felt greasy and heavy, even the 'lightweight' versions. And don't even get me started about the smell. I stopped using them, even though everyone of my friends swore I was going to get skin cancer from my 20-30 minutes of daily sun exposure. I was sure of it too.
But there is something about this thinking that seemed counterintuitive. Rates of skin cancer have skyrocketed in the last hundred years, sending us to hide under sunscreen. In fact authority after authority has proclaimed even small exposure to sun as a major health risk! And then to replicate that bronzey glow we have turned to sunless tanner or rather creams that dye the skin an unnatural orange. I tried them too. And I couldn't get past the smell and uneven, unnatural color. I simply would rather be pale than orange.
But, in all our attempts to save ourselves from melanoma and wrinkles, have we? Skin cancer (both malignant and nonmalignant) rates have gone up dramatically since about 1950, but they have jumped even higher in the last 20 years. While countless doctors claim that this is due to increased awareness and better access to preventative medicine, is it? Overall cancer rates (and cancer deaths) have increased dramatically in the last 50 years and everyone is in agreement that the increase cannot just be attributed to better medical care. But in the last 30 years that we have been hiding ourselves from the sun, have we accomplished anything at all? In fact we have! When one is covered up by sunscreens it turns out that one cannot synthesize Vitamin D. Remember Vitamin D? It is the vitamin that is really a hormone. In food, it is fat soluble and comes with sun related items, think green veggies (chlorophyll needs sunlight to turn green) and animals products from animals who have been outside (think pastured eating green grass not penned eating yellow corn). Vitamin D can also be found in great quantities in oily fish like sardines and salmon. Vitamin D is now thought to be a key player in immunity, making the irony of 'that healthy glow' all the more ironic. Vitamin D is also crucial in keeping cancer from forming, suppressing cold viruses and all around good health. While my kids measure up pretty well in their Vitamin D levels (I had Thing 1 checked), I am still considering a supplement when they start school and daycare in the fall. Perhaps we can have fewer absences as a result. Though to be sure I will use a Cod Liver Oil supplement, or a D3 supplement, rather than the less effective D2.
The American population is currently believed to be Vitamin D deficient in epidemic proportions. It is estimated that up to 40% of the US Population is deficient in Vitamin D near the end of the winter time, when Vitamin D levels are at their lowest because of lack of sun exposure. A healthy measure would be 50 nmol/L. When my son was tested he measured a 90 nmol/L, and that was in the middle of a New England winter. He also doesn't (willingly) eat that much fish nor does he eat an overwhelming amount of greens, though he will eat some. What do we do? We eat fat. Even our milk is unsupplemented, but it is from cows that are outside, and it's whole. Us adults, we eats lots of leafy greens. Hopefully that behavior will be properly modeled and the kids will start to do it soon too! Your levels should never be below 32 nmol/L though, because that can set up children up for rickets (a bone disorder causing curvature of the bones, think bowed legs) and for adults, osteomalacia. As recently as last year the BBC reported a rise in rickets in the UK. And in the US rickets has been on the rise too, though most articles cite only babies as being tested, not all children.
The one thing I am still afraid of afraid of is sunburns. My kids are little bitties and their skin is so soft. So long exposure to sun particularly at the hottest times of the day will require some sun lotion. However do I need to slather every inch of them in it every time we leave the house? I don't think so. And what about SPF? 20 was common when I was growing up, 30 was for the overachievers. Today 50 is common for children's lotions and I have even seen 70. Really? 70 SPF? I wonder if I can even find 20 SPF anymore?
So this summer I am mostly ditching sunscreen, though to be sure I am taking some precautions. I won't be sunbathing specifically for a tan. Whether or not sunbathing causes melanoma, excessive sun exposure sure does cause premature aging, and I am finally old enough to actively fear wrinkles. We will probably avoid the beach during the hottest hours of the day, 12-2. Incidentally the hottest hours of the day are the same time as lunch and nap. And since a beach only intensifies the sun's rays due to the white sand, I will use some sunscreen during our infrequent trips to the beach. We don't want to spend our vacation nursing a sunburn. But if we are going to the playground and the park or just taking a quick walk on the beach boardwalk, I am ditching the potentially risky sunscreens. I am even ditching hats which my kids hate anyway. And if someone asks why I am not taking care of my kids and covering them up, expect the long answer. So, judgers beware, I can TALK your ear off.
Common sense kept us healthy for so long, why did we abandon it in the last 50 years for something newer and shinier? All our attempts to make life better with chemicals and manmade unnatural products have only served to make us sicker. Save money this summer! Ditch the sunscreen and use some common sense instead! Maybe then the rates of melanoma and nonmalignant skin cancers will start going down.
More References:
Articles, Dr. Mercola: Some Spray Tans Stop you from producting Vitamin D
Dr. Mercola's Book on the Propaganda of the Evils of Sun Exposure: Dark Deception
Topicalinfo.org: Melanoma related to the Consumption of Polyunsaturated Oils (Will you just give this up already?)
CA Cancer J Clin: Malignent Melanoma (Includes Risk of Skin Cancer in the Last 80 Years)
National Institutes of Health, Office of Dietary Supplements: Vitamin D
This post is shared with Food Renegade's Fight Back Friday and Traditional Tuesdays and Simple Lives Thursdays at Sustainable Eats and GNOWFLINS and Others
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